Re: Orders to My Zombie Legions by razorgrin	14-Mar-03/9:07 AM
Zombiethon, this satisfied the george A romero side of me and for that i'm tossing you 8 severed heads
Re: My friend by Luv2write	14-Mar-03/9:02 AM
Sweet and innocence shines through, originalty does not. However that will come with experience and practice. As a teen I forced myself to write which was in retrospect a mistake. However you may use parts of this poem as a theme for another poem later in life, keep writing: 6 :-)
Re: Maud, After the Death of her Daughter Lynn by middenHeap	14-Mar-03/8:58 AM
Its A daisy ! It reads more like a lyric though. Still an engaging piece of writing, compiled cleverly.
Re: The 11th hour by INTRANSIT	14-Mar-03/8:38 AM
Whoa your pens smoking of late
Re: The lightest touch by INTRANSIT	13-Mar-03/2:59 PM
Sounds like the ocean, love it ! By the way that Saturn ring thing you wrote for your wife....it partly inspired me to write one i posted today, like your true comment...'bloody war of angels', think you need to work on last line, its okay but you dont do okay you do bravo. 7
Re: Icarus Down by horus8	13-Mar-03/2:57 PM
Icarus flies like an irish kite. Glad to see non conformity, anorak poetry fucks me off occasionally infact conformist is icarus poetry, down with it.
Re: Icarus up by horus8	13-Mar-03/2:54 PM
I say Icarus down, get him down
Re: hard as a rock by <~>	13-Mar-03/2:53 PM
God your horny tonight, ice the red I'm coming over.
Re: a comment on The Wooden Armchair Of Similar Dreams by Caducus	13-Mar-03/9:41 AM
Its al about living and not just existing, learning from there life and making sure you avoid the footsteps as they can lead you in to the same path of parasites she met.
Re: a comment on Dust by Caducus	13-Mar-03/9:36 AM
yes it should so thank you for noticing.
Re: One Moment to the Other (v2) by nentwined	12-Mar-03/9:07 AM
Well Done this is a grand poem, love the opening, ahhh opening I need one with my job 8
Re: Summer by MaliqaTara	12-Mar-03/9:04 AM
Hope you get what you want
Re: great caesar's ghost by bondjedi	12-Mar-03/9:04 AM
bitches in heat ( great name for a rock band )
Re: Limericks of hot seething love, gone bad. by horus8	12-Mar-03/5:42 AM
This seems unfinished mate, I was left scrapping for more, or maybe I am greedy today? gotta feel that lurve thang ! Hey H, give me the goss on what you've been up to : endymion29@hotmail.com You know everythhing from Magnum ads, Beverly D-angelo, being pissed, california gossip beats coventry gossip, man I live in a shithole of a city.
Re: Blustered by INTRANSIT	12-Mar-03/5:35 AM
Get A title for this, that gives the reader a big idea what its about. A good title would be : The Shedding? Idea: (trees dont panic) so .... the tree shakes and rips, As the wind whistles in glory, Death is inevitable. Play around with it, you know you'll get it.
Re: Saline drip to the eye by INTRANSIT	12-Mar-03/5:28 AM
Impressive, love the images in this 'A chalky ashen ball', Dario Argento used a nice line for dead eyes: four flies on grey velvet, you got a Q TiP aWaRdE ask him to say what 4, vote(9)
Re: if only you could read my mind love by sk8boardandpoems	8-Mar-03/3:27 AM
I know your a mere whippersnapper of 12 so I will think back to when I wrote at that age. I hope this will help you: First off your very brave entering a forum for writers where most people wont know your a kid and that your inexperienced at writing and totally un worldly wise. All I will say is this, everything you write no matter how negative the reaction NEVER CHUCK IT AWAY as you may have a couple of good lines to use om a later poem. This may sound unorthodox for a poet to do but your merely trying to find an identity and style for your work. You may find out of a 60 line poem you like now that later you will detest and want to chuck away, --- dont do it. When I look back on work I wrote at 13/14/15 etc i cringe, but its an interesting diary reflect on, and if you date each book you write in you will see how much your style has changed. My advice is simply ignore the votes and insulting, profane remarks and concentrate on the users who can help you. We may be totally different in technique and style but I would advise you to look at some of these users poems and concentrate on maybe writing about something your ahead in, for example write about childhood, most of us are much older and have forgot the magic of childhood, so you have a forte in that field where you can describe a natural innocence and purity. Write about the penultimate moments in your life, growing up with brother and sisters, your gran and grandad are they still alive, what is your most vivid memory and then look at beautiful ways or original metaphors to write. Gods Wife is a metaphor genius for example one line she used to describe an overcast winter day was....'The sky turned confederate grey' now that original. I am by no means perfect but I have generally got something out of poetry, moved people, pissed people off, but achieved what I wanted to do and thats get a reaction and make a difference to an otherwise mundane existence. This is my longest comment ever on ranker but I wanted to help you. User List (by no means complete) who influenced me --------------------------------------------- Tintagiles: Imagery genius, wild and evocative Gods Wife: A real poet in every sense of the word. Intransit: Learning his art but when hes good hes on fire. Poeandknowit: a complete shit human being but good writer) Mr Pig: His work is moving and descriptive. Horus8: A diverse writer, very angry, controversial but always has a point to make and wicked S.O.H. Zzinnia: Like Gods wife both have helped fucking dozens of writers and get treated like shit by some who cant take the criticism, listen to these people, poetry are there arteries, ZZinnia is a top haiku writer and she too is a cool writer. Theres loads more, even view Rangers work hes only 17 but pretty damn good for his age. I hope you give poetry a shot. good luck sk8
Re: I have nothing left to steal. by lost in america	8-Mar-03/3:01 AM
This never really engaged any interest, I am trying to understand the point of even writing it.
Re: Fresh faced Danger-Teen by INTRANSIT	8-Mar-03/2:57 AM
Lorasia has already made my point. The best man for commenting on this is Horus as you know he does diverse slam poetry this could be modified as song or slam, I would love to hear it aloud on an open mike. Thanx for you cmnts 8
Re: first kiss by lost in america	1-Mar-03/3:43 PM
Quite sweet 7