Blustered

by INTRANSIT

Member since 2002 · Posted 20 Jan 2003 · Edited 12 Mar 2003 · 8 comments

The tree panics and shakes and in doing so makes death inevitable

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9 votes so far. Yours would make 10.9 votes so far

8 comments

[9] <{Baba^Yaga}> 20-Jan-03/11:14 AM Reply

The title should be 'what is inevitable', that being...well..nudity

Acould title might be Fall, Fall promotes nudity..how about Ms. Autumn was naked? I GOT IT..STRIPPING TREES... ahh fuck it
the last toothpick??

[n/a] <~> › <{Baba^Yaga}> 12-Mar-03/7:58 AM Reply

arnold's going to be nude in terminator 3. opening shot, full frontal. he must be desperate for box office.

[6] Robert K Foster 7-Mar-03/7:39 AM Reply

something besides "it" please. The pronoun makes the whole poem inprecise and less poetic.

[n/a] <~> 7-Mar-03/8:04 AM Reply

"inevitable" leaves me hanging, sir!
completion, svp!

[2] wLeBlancw 11-Mar-03/9:10 PM Reply

Can you come up with a better title? You don't title your other poems Free Verse, do you?

[5] Caducus 12-Mar-03/5:35 AM Reply

Get A title for this, that gives the reader a big idea what its about. A good title would be : The Shedding?

Idea: (trees dont panic) so ....

the tree shakes and rips,
As the wind whistles in glory,
Death is inevitable.

Play around with it, you know you'll get it.

[8] god'swife 12-Mar-03/3:23 PM Reply

Other than the fact that death is always inevitable, regardless, I like this poem. It says a great deal, but you have to fix 'inevitable'. Great 5 syllable word, by the way.

[7] Frass 13-Mar-03/7:45 AM Reply

I like it just the way it is, INTRNST