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Blustered (Haiku) by INTRANSIT The tree panics and shakes
and in doing so makes death
inevitable
Up the ladder:
Of this Moment!
Down the ladder:
Exsqueeze Me? Baking Powder?
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.3333335
Posted: January 20, 2003 9:41 AM PST; Last modified: March 12, 2003 7:10 AM PSTWeighted score: 4.6666665 Overall Rank: 12235 Comments:
something besides "it" please. The pronoun makes the whole poem inprecise and less poetic.
"inevitable" leaves me hanging, sir!
completion, svp!
Can you come up with a better title? You don't title your other poems Free Verse, do you?
Get A title for this, that gives the reader a big idea what its about. A good title would be : The Shedding?
Idea: (trees dont panic) so .... the tree shakes and rips, As the wind whistles in glory, Death is inevitable. Play around with it, you know you'll get it.
Other than the fact that death is always inevitable, regardless, I like this poem. It says a great deal, but you have to fix 'inevitable'. Great 5 syllable word, by the way.
I like it just the way it is, INTRNST
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Acould title might be Fall, Fall promotes nudity..how about Ms. Autumn was naked? I GOT IT..STRIPPING TREES... ahh fuck it
the last toothpick??