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Re: Some of us by daniella nentwined 127.0.0.1 30-Jan-15/1:31 PM
cute :)
Re: The Spell(Alice part I) by alvinb nentwined 127.0.0.1 30-Jan-15/1:36 PM
I really like the potential of the first two stanzas, but the rest disappoints, for me—give me more color, more shifting, more playing with vision (other than bright/dark). Though loss poems are particularly hard to do, in that the general doesn't connect and the particular may be too particular. And they are done, and done, and done--but try to dig into more senses, cohere it all, and don't give up....
Re: Sense {non} by Skamper nentwined ::1 30-Jan-15/1:39 PM
the second stanza is your poem. drop the rest. maybe explore that more, or maybe don't. 6 for the poem as whole.
Re: Pakistan school massacre by Dhanesh M Kumar daniella 127.0.0.1 22-Feb-15/7:21 AM
there is a lot of feeling and outrage and sadness that is begging poetic justice in this poem
Re: A HANGMAN'S MOANING by Dhanesh M Kumar daniella 127.0.0.1 22-Feb-15/7:24 AM
i love your thoughts. they are in the right place and the poem works on some levels. keep engineering the phrases. and perhaps punctuation is needed, for example: Alas doing, for the sake of bread no?
Re: There Was Poetry For Them All by nentwined SupremeDreamer 127.0.0.1 7-Apr-15/5:49 PM
Aye... and amen to tbe muse we all love to abuse.
Re: SUCH IS THE LOSS I FEEL by ARTIE SupremeDreamer ::1 7-Apr-15/5:53 PM
Cliché, yeah, near pimple status? Oh... none of us want to know what parody i'd make of this... too fuckin easy, aye. Do you wish me to judge thy heart, or thy ART? This poem.. I give a four, so that thy heart might not sour. :)
Re: Hobo. by SupremeDreamer ARTIE 127.0.0.1 7-Apr-15/8:03 PM
Fuck you who looks down on me-- when Rome falls, you'll be fucked while I'll finally be set free. Set your own fucking condescending self free. Vulgarity obviously hasn't worked. Look around and realize, you shackle yourself.
Re: Some of us by daniella Y2kSlamPoet 127.0.0.1 13-Apr-15/4:01 PM
I'll give you a ten if you can condense this into a haiku. :P
Re: Among The Stars by ARTIE Y2kSlamPoet ::1 13-Apr-15/4:06 PM
My heart speaks not. It pulses with pulsars while drinkin' at the bar Goes cold while I'm hot 'n encourages me to take another shot till the last thing I see is the blasted stars.
Re: Psilocybin, and the Tale of a Happy Stoner by ARTIE Y2kSlamPoet 127.0.0.1 13-Apr-15/4:24 PM
pulchritudinous? Wordy. Get rid of it. There's other aspects too that could use polish, and the more I think of it, the less worthy of a nine this is. The title though? SPECTACULAR@! Just don't get all sour on my seven, aye?
Re: Makin' Bacon by NICKDRP susanthered 127.0.0.1 21-Nov-15/12:57 PM
this poem is amazing!!! I love it...well done!!!!
Re: Makin' Bacon by NICKDRP susanthered 127.0.0.1 21-Nov-15/12:58 PM
I bet the guy who wrote this is an amazing person and really great looking....what a hottie!
Re: Stripping the willow by ecargo Ranger ::1 4-Dec-15/3:31 PM
ecargo! I wanted to get in touch a while back but had no way. Are you still writing?
Re: Deep Translation by T. Jonathron Remp impert&ent ::1 24-Jan-16/7:54 AM
Skating with the rays Shellfishing suits trackwise trainers
Re: Synchronicity by Prince of Void impert&ent 127.0.0.1 24-Jan-16/7:57 AM
... alors même que
Re: And on and on and on by nentwined impert&ent ::1 26-Aug-16/8:08 AM
Something a bit repetitive here, and title not evocative of the imagery
Re: Celui by half.italian impert&ent ::1 26-Aug-16/8:09 AM
Celui? Ce lui? Anyhow, nice evocation of a once in a lifetime fuck.
Re: What Bitches? Oh yeah, I'll be talkin major shit. by SupremeDreamer daniella ::1 15-Jan-17/5:30 PM
Diseloquence is your invention
Re: Embrace the Politics by impert&ent impert&ent 127.0.0.1 26-Feb-17/5:38 PM
Stewart Stacy


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