poemranker ::first kiss by lost in america

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Free verse № 42117

first kiss

by lost in america

Member since 2003 · Posted 28 Feb 2003 · Edited 7 Mar 2003 · 7 comments

Lips shaking- quiver, shiver against wallflowers not me not you but us. earthquake, maybe - tremor of new earth beneath; the last breath of friendship.

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mean 5.91 weighted 5.91 rank 1424 views 366 View voting details →

35 votes so far. Yours would make 36.35 votes so far

7 comments

[6] OneFingerAnswer 1-Mar-03/12:23 AM Reply
I like it. Reminds me of myself not too long ago. Sweet. Innocent. Naive? Good luck. (6)
[7] Caducus 1-Mar-03/3:43 PM Reply
Quite sweet 7
[7] Shardik 7-Mar-03/12:03 PM Reply
it's okay, but hardly profound.
[9] INTRANSIT 7-Mar-03/5:06 PM Reply
I rather like it as-is
[7] lastobelus 12-Mar-03/7:49 AM Reply
spare and sweet
[6] <~> 12-Mar-03/7:56 AM Reply
'last breath of friendship' is a nice observation.
[9] Rex Karrs 1-May-03/7:30 AM Reply
Very nice. That moment you can feel when everything changes, well captured.