DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

The Wooden Armchair Of Similar Dreams

Member since 2002 · Posted 14 Nov 2002 · Edited 12 Mar 2003 · 26 comments

Crocodiles drown in synchronized sorrow, Church bells ring, the ringing so hollow. Am I the only one to mourn you? Crows dressed as humans have come to scorn you. You took so long to be taken, Too long for the vultures who circled above, In heaven your dreams awaken, A simple dream called love. I sit in your wooden armchair of similar dreams, And close my eyes to familiar scenes. The screaming, the stench, The scheming, the wench. The derelict peace now fills the room, Hibiscus covered walls now a dying bloom. The greatest gift you left, ensuring life and not existence, Is exhaled in my breath. ( for Dannara )

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 6.46 weighted 6.46 rank 720 views 406 View voting details →

28 votes so far. Yours would make 29.28 votes so far

26 comments

[n/a] UnityMitford 14-Nov-02/8:17 AM Reply

if i were Dannara, i wouldn't know how the hell to take this (not that i do anyway).

[7] god'swife 14-Nov-02/9:02 AM Reply

There's a lot of wonderful language here I especially like "The derilict peace" that images I think is an important one, for me anyway. "Ensuring life and not existence" makes me say 'fuck'... but in a good way. Unfortunately my less favorite rhyme(love/above) is also found here. When ever I see the word above at the end of a line I know the word love is not far behind. Ha, I made a poe-m!

[7] Tintagiles 14-Nov-02/11:55 AM Reply

I can't help it. Generally, when I see the word 'Crocodile' in a poem, I expect to be amused. You actually managed to use them well. Bravo.

[7] Frass 14-Nov-02/2:01 PM Reply

I like it, Cdcs. I would, however, like to see wenches associated with more positive elements than 'stench', perhaps 'wymyn's wenchly winsome wyles and wunnerful quenching...' something, something; they deserve it. Not sure about 'derelict peace'.

[n/a] INTRANSIT 14-Nov-02/4:00 PM Reply

I'm on the posi-side here. And another vote for (derelict peace). I want to write something like this for my mom, I'm just not ready yet. Fab read indeed.

[n/a] Caducus › INTRANSIT 15-Nov-02/1:17 AM Reply

let me know when you've written for your ma, I'd wanna read it.

Pleased I pleased -thanks

[n/a] INTRANSIT 14-Nov-02/4:05 PM Reply

I keep reading this and I think it deserves exaltation beyond p/r.

[9] Bachus 15-Nov-02/12:01 AM Reply

i'm going to give you a nine on this...be proud..i normally tear the fuck out of everybody just out of sheer distemperment. why? hardcore denial my friend, and alot lot more...this made me care about life again on certain levels, and i choose to cover the girls name at the bottom, replace it with mine, and pretend it was a note to me from someone who held me along time ago....but no more is that...no more...is me. 9. boo-hoo. col! lol! col!dol!bol!wol!

[n/a] Caducus › Bachus 15-Nov-02/1:16 AM Reply

Ok Bachus, the armchair is yours, I'll even throw in the Doritos and series 4 of baywatch.

and thanks for your cmnts

[n/a] daniella › Bachus 18-Nov-02/6:52 PM Reply

bachus, your changing that spindly whine for something more apetitoso. i like this side of you, you actually deserve a hug.

[8] hobojo 15-Nov-02/6:05 AM Reply

Very nice.

[n/a] Christof 19-Nov-02/8:29 AM Reply

The last three lines carry a great burden very gracefully. I wonder a bit at the variation in rhyme scheme between end end of s 1 and the of s2, but that's just the pernickety formalist in me trying to get out. The main thing is you got a sensitive comment from Bachus - that is all the praise you will ever need. Well done.

[n/a] Christof › Christof 19-Nov-02/8:33 AM Reply

God, that was illiterate. I meant the end of s1 and the end of s2, but my fingers got confused.

[9] Ranger 26-Nov-02/2:12 AM Reply

Wow

[1] smlink84 25-Dec-02/6:57 PM Reply

I liked the gist of this poem, but the meataphors you decided to use hold no particular meaning in literature or even logically. " Crocodiles drown in synchronized sorrow," I really thought of this particualr verse as, well stupid. Don't be offeneded, as I said like the theme behind this poem and thought it better than many of the others I have read. I'm only trying to help you out. It would be alot better if you added symbolism that made sense. for instance, a candle is usally related to life, a hawk is reffered to as the soul.

[8] lastobelus › smlink84 12-Mar-03/12:52 PM Reply

henh?

there once was a fellow named smlink
who scrabbled and smirked like a skink
demanding better symbols
and clashing his cymbals
trying to hide his own poetry's stink

[n/a] INTRANSIT 12-Mar-03/7:15 AM Reply

It was so long ago, I'm unaware of the changes. Feels strong still.

[8] lastobelus 12-Mar-03/1:39 PM Reply

I liked this poem a lot but I sheepishly confess I'm still trying to puzzle out the meaning of the last stanza. Can I get a hint?

[n/a] Caducus › lastobelus 13-Mar-03/9:41 AM Reply

Its al about living and not just existing, learning from there life and making sure you avoid the footsteps as they can lead you in to the same path of parasites she met.

[8] Sawa 12-Mar-03/2:58 PM Reply

Yummy.

[9] Tahlia 12-Jul-03/4:15 AM Reply

A beautifully written piece of work.

[10] Hostileintent 14-Aug-03/3:17 PM Reply

first of all, thanks for the comments.

second,i like it.it is, what seems to me, to be quite nostalgic.i duno, i have always had a thing for personal and nostalgic poetry,and this fits in here.very well written. 10

[n/a] deleted user 28-Aug-03/2:52 PM Reply

After the way you have treated me, I hate to say this but this is an excellent poem. I can be objective, can you?