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Summer (Free verse) by MaliqaTara
The clouds parted Shimmering lighting beaming through Just like that; there you stood And I had to blink To make sure that you were real... Riding in the car... Your hand occasionally brushing my hair my cheek my shoulder my heart That amazing smile Brighter than the diamonds that we were going to pick out; A light for me At the end of my dark tunnel. After work, you'd rub my feet then back then neck then kiss my hands looking into my eyes forever and a day We said. Later on; skin touching skin you never shamed me just whispered of your love and caressed the body your warmth still resided in. The summer left us... Cold Scared How often you pleaded, tears soaking my chest as you lay clinging to me. I caressed your manicured locks Holding back my tears Trying to soothe your pain by swallowing my own. Sometimes at night I don't feel quite alone like your breath on my neck or a whisper in the dark and I dream of waking in your arms Not stirring; just watching... And those nights I don't cry Don't wake up sobbing Calling out your name... Those nights the memory of your love your kisses your body your voice... Those nights I dream of a love that never dies of a summer that never ends And a man who never left.

Up the ladder: Against the Gorgon
Down the ladder: Three Daughters

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 67
.. 42
.. 30
.. 50
.. 51
.. 92
.. 70
.. 31
.. 10
.. 11
.. 42

Arithmetic Mean: 5.90625
Weighted score: 5.90625
Overall Rank: 1434
Posted: February 2, 2003 4:12 PM PST; Last modified: February 2, 2003 4:12 PM PST
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Comments:
[2] poetandknowit @ 65.101.210.77 | 2-Feb-03/4:27 PM | Reply
"I dont really care what people think about my writing, but if another, I feel, decent poet from this site constructively criticized my work, I might pay attention." Do you know how many people say this yet still post there work here? If you do not care what people think then you would not post a poem. This poem has some exceptionally nice cliches in it. My favorite is "whisper in the dark."
[10] deleted user @ 152.163.213.198 | 2-Feb-03/5:01 PM | Reply
i love it, how come i had to show u my writing shit, and i never got to see what you write? i don't think its fare :). How long ago did u write all of this?
[0] god'swife @ 209.179.211.68 | 2-Feb-03/6:25 PM | Reply
The only light at the end of any tunnel is a train. Get out of the way. ther is some honest and worthwhile emotion here, you just need to learn how to paint. I think your vision is strong.
[9] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 6-Feb-03/7:53 PM | Reply
The Night Rider...
[9] deleted user @ 216.148.213.195 | 13-Feb-03/5:59 PM | Reply
Wow. I like the gentle imagery... reminds me of waking up alone too.
[9] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 | 16-Feb-03/11:58 AM | Reply
Poet.
[n/a] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 | 16-Feb-03/11:00 PM | Reply
Seen it.p
[9] famenglory @ 151.205.194.179 | 17-Feb-03/5:53 PM | Reply
where did he go?
[7] TanHand @ 68.14.26.239 | 3-Mar-03/9:09 PM | Reply
I've read much worse.
[5] emeraldeyes @ 198.247.178.137 | 4-Mar-03/5:55 PM | Reply
oh how i can relate!! simple and i liked it.
[0] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 12-Mar-03/9:04 AM | Reply
Hope you get what you want
[10] kthulah @ 80.230.47.221 | 1-Apr-03/9:59 AM | Reply
This one hits me where it's tender. I like it :)
[7] trina_marie_73 @ 202.128.11.12 | 3-Apr-03/6:53 AM | Reply
nice:)
[1] suckmychucks @ 64.41.22.90 | 10-Apr-03/1:27 PM | Reply
get a real dildo.
[4] bondjedi @ 12.228.21.93 | 20-Apr-03/1:04 PM | Reply
maybe if you swallowed something other than your pain he would still be around. I give you a 4.
[4] Poetsettle @ 68.158.170.115 | 18-May-03/10:08 AM | Reply
Oh! Aptly expressed.
[n/a] PoeTech @ 209.122.235.155 | 20-Jun-03/12:14 PM | Reply
Be sure to read my latest poem - Theology - It's amazing!!
[6] MrsGretchen @ 12.220.225.71 | 7-Jul-03/12:42 PM | Reply
Loaded with feeling.
[8] Shardik @ 24.126.113.154 | 5-Aug-03/1:52 PM | Reply
This is such a great poem.
[7] Settle @ 67.75.22.253 | 20-Aug-03/6:13 AM | Reply
Add a line about silver starfish.
[n/a] deleted user @ 24.222.81.233 | 20-Aug-03/12:47 PM | Reply
Skinned doesn't touch skinned. That is an error.
[6] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 | 2-Sep-03/3:53 PM | Reply
I almost wanted to stop half way through and call it cliche' but I read on and the ending closed it just fine. I still think there are a lot of cliche' references, but it has feeling, which is more important the mechanics anyway.
[10] jonnyduk @ 217.137.173.65 | 4-Sep-03/12:17 PM | Reply
That a decent poem, i don't know why i like it so much, being in a relationship makes it much more emotional. good work MaliqaTara
[8] sliver @ 65.178.241.181 | 8-Sep-03/7:04 PM | Reply
What happened? You seemed so happy.
[0] Standby @ 152.163.252.168 | 20-Mar-04/7:29 PM | Reply
Unoriginal.
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