Villanelle № 43877
Maud, After the Death of her Daughter Lynn
No one seems to understand
I suppose no one really could
She holds her sorrow well in hand
Her father only will demand
She act as mothers should
No one seems to understand
She's done nothing like her mother planned
When she over her cradle cooed
She holds her sorrow well in hand
She's gone against the law of the land
-- maybe any woman would
No one seems to understand
Around her heart a tightening band
That must be every day withstood
She holds her sorrow well in hand
Head high she leads the mourning band
Beside the black and polished wood
No one seems to understand
She holds her sorrow well in hand
13 comments
middenHeap's into the fray.
oy vey!
I suppose -that- no one really could
--will help the meter
When she over her cradle cooed
--i know what you mean, but it reads awkwardly
nice effort. excellent topic for a V. the grief-struck often do repeat and repeat, to force themselves to accept. very nice tie-in, there.
I haven't done any writing in 7 years, I'm gonna be weeding my garden for a while.
But regardless of how tight I get the meter and rhyme it's a lost cause because there's nothing real or raw in there.
It was just a drill.
But I wrote this one just for you, really I did. The third last line was supposed to be "Thinking of Dark Angel's splendid wood" but it didn't scan well enough. Sorrow, of course, being nought but a metaphor for your splendid wood.
i noticed that stocks in moisturizing avocado "hand" creme have skyrocketed in the u.k.
huzzah!
It reads more like a lyric though.
Still an engaging piece of writing, compiled cleverly.
the reason I reject this pome is because I didn't find anything real or raw. I was just playing with a rhyming dictionary, following the words.
And I haven't the cojones to try one meself. Ah well, all in due time. Pretty good for a practice run.
http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?i
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