| Re: a comment on Perversions 3: Payback by razorgrin |
16-Jan-03/11:21 AM |
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what? no forensic entymology? come on now razor, that is some good shit! (oh, i guess that makes me sick and twisted to? c'est la vie.)
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| Re: Lianne by mindsigns |
16-Jan-03/9:04 AM |
damn. that is some kind of keening.
kudos, mindsigns
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| Re: Death by dougsoderstrom |
16-Jan-03/9:03 AM |
'blown' leaves the door open for more verse.
needs to be 'has blown' or 'blew'' methinks.
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| Re: Welsh Landscape Part One by Nicholas Jones |
16-Jan-03/8:32 AM |
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| Re: a comment on not even soup by <~> |
16-Jan-03/7:17 AM |
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sounds delicious. today, i have some leftovers--stuffed cabbage, and veggies. i am looking forward to them very much. sometimes, food, sunshine, a glass of water, even--these are everything.
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| Re: The Poem of an Eighth-Grader by jessicazee |
15-Jan-03/10:55 PM |
very sweet. excellent idea for a poem. nice comparison.
okay, adult crticism, since you posted on an adult site:
dandelions don't lose color at night; they close up. it's really cool to watch. so, lesson #1: write about what you know. that being said, the 'help' page on this site has some great references. this is one of my favorites:
http://www.uni.edu/english/craft/imagery.html
keep up the good work!
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| Re: Anchored pockets by INTRANSIT |
15-Jan-03/10:43 PM |
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dammit. why is no one ever awake when i am?
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| Re: the midget of humiliation by Bill Z Bub |
15-Jan-03/10:42 PM |
some very nice moments.
your last stanza feels incomplete (though beautiful) to me.
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| Re: Anchored pockets by INTRANSIT |
15-Jan-03/10:36 PM |
if you change the 2nd line to this:
thus becoming lazy
and the last to this:
but it won't make me move.
your rhyming will be easier on the brain, and your meter on the ear.
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| Re: Break Dancing Charlie by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
15-Jan-03/10:28 PM |
was it my tape deck?
why must you ?
never mind.
watch out for the gas when you drop them in the tank.
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| Re: a comment on joyriding by Bill Z Bub |
15-Jan-03/10:11 PM |
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have you been carousing with tint?
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| Re: Tom & Jerry by Bachus |
15-Jan-03/1:36 PM |
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| Re: a comment on The blue light special. by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
15-Jan-03/1:13 PM |
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ainsi soit il, mon frere.
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| Re: a comment on The blue light special. by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
15-Jan-03/12:58 PM |
made to be broken, then eh?
like a blue light special, it defies reality.
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| Re: a comment on Bobjim, Jimbob by Spider-Man |
15-Jan-03/10:43 AM |
WAR? yes, full on.
oh. my. you seem to have forgotten your flak jacket today, jbh. AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH! RET TAT TATATATAT TAT TAT TAT!
HAHAH!
gotcha.
one down, three to go.
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| Re: 'Fucky Fucky 5 Dollar' by scitz |
15-Jan-03/10:18 AM |
obviously, you had either been served quite a few when you wrote this, or were so deranged from want of drink, that this was like a DT revelation for you. funny story, but what did you learn from the experience? except, of course, how to go both ways? snoggity snog snog.
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| Re: strange beds (1989) by Bill Z Bub |
13-Jan-03/7:46 PM |
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mr bub, this is leaps and bounds beyond the first draft. kudos.
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| Re: The shirt I wore to dinner. by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
13-Jan-03/7:05 PM |
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beautiful! wasabi for everyone! on me, motherfuckah!!!!
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| Re: a comment on Where is My BabyGirl? by ChunkyHunkyMonkey |
13-Jan-03/6:25 PM |
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a calligraphied lampshade, the likes of which none have seen. ever.
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| Re: a comment on Fire And Fuck by Bonehiss |
13-Jan-03/3:53 PM |
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not to mention a kale gun.
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