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Fire And Fuck (Free verse) by Bonehiss Slamming whores
Behind slamming doors,
Get you limp to hard
With a hammering heart.
Your brain goes numb
As your fingers run,
Through wild skank hair.
Rush! Rush!
Time is short.
Don't bother to sterilize.
Just pack your rig.
Rush again!
Then finally,
Spun-out,
Pick at your toenails,
As you watch
Your once impressive
Partying skills,
Turn slowly,
Into sad addiction.
Up the ladder:
...
Down the ladder:
Radical Lament - I & II of XII
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.6
Posted: October 30, 2002 2:41 AM PST; Last modified: April 16, 2003 9:55 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.833116 Overall Rank: 10793 Comments:
you're obviously stupid, and have never been high a day in your life. Tell me how can you see ghosts when you've never seen life. idiot.
You have such a way with words.
not to mention a kale gun.
Words have no way less gaye.
"Rush! Rush! Rush!
Time is short. Don't bother to sterilize. Just pack your rig. Rush again! Then finally, spun-out, pick at your toenails" what the addiction is? yeah lets call a fucking board meeting. obviously..coke or speed. that aside....this is shit. it's not going to help an addict, and it's not going to save the un-informed children of the planet earth, so..where does that leave us? exactly, buried up to our necks in shit poetry, and fucking idiots trying to write about slinkeys when they've been playing all along with barbies. idiotic shit. moronic retorts to moronic inuendos. basic run of the mill tripe. enjoy your keen observations and grasp of life. you'll need it when your kid comes home a junky. you can always read him/her this great compilation of their pain. idiot. here's a ten because that's how much respect i got for a voting system.
Why don't you grow a set of balls and stick a half gram in your neck yourself? It might motivate you to spend more time polishing the tripe you've submitted. Silly little girl.
TOP SECRET SUGGESTION: Please do not use the word 'tripe' except when referring to literal tripe. It is the most awful and overused word ever. It makes the wielder sound like they are a middle aged schoolmistress or a fifteen-year-old. My condolences if you are one of those things.
I knew that. I was just 'tripeing' back.
change the title to "tire and duck".
Its crazy 6
it's about youth, I think. I give you a 5
Were u molested as a child?
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Thanks to the background I understand this perfectly but to the uninformed it may be difficult to comment on as theirs no indication to what the addiction is, and a need to know more may be the problem.
However i think its a strong piece-well done, just work with it, make a few drafts-try again and resubmit after careful edit.