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joyriding (Free verse) by Bill Z Bub Nobody takes you anywhere.
You take them.
for a ride
in unknown hard climes
(sarcasm aside)
dragging confidence
on the backroads,
unpaved and windswept.
Your skeptical smile
once brought down religion
in mornings first classes
fomenting rebellion
behind bulletproof glasses.
Up the ladder:
No One Cares
Down the ladder:
Company 11 (a friendly fire agency)
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.3333335
Posted: December 18, 2002 8:40 PM PST; Last modified: January 5, 2003 6:01 PM PSTWeighted score: 6.1666665 Overall Rank: 1027 Comments:
[10]
deleted user @ 212.219.142.161
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19-Dec-02/2:27 AM
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Reply
Hmm, 'tis very good & seems to be said from experience?? I like this also cos my name's in the title!!
C'est Parfait
'Your skeptical chin
once brought down religion in morning's first class fomenting rebellion behind bullet-proof glass.'
i think he meant glasses--the geek look--or at least the intelligenzia--and it makes a nice veer from the expected, don't you think?
yap, that is what I meant, but the other way does sound a little more sturdy.
fomented? formented. and you guys call me paranoid. tsk.
no, fomented is the right word.
you're right. a nice one two. thanks for teaching it to me.???
Hot for teacher? Definitely a thinker.
i'll drink some skaldic brew to that.the titles kind of pauly shore, but the piece is impeccable..
You're too kind. I want to give it a new title, but this is my highest ranked piece yet, and I don't want to erase the votes. I need the ego boost.
Perhaps later.
In fact, I just realized,
I made the top 15! Number 11 right now. Holy mother of pearl! KwanYin have mercy on this insignificant worm. I am shocked. Truly shocked. Just waiting for the inevitable backlash votes...
WTF was that?
Its kinda like winning an Oscar, innit? ie totally meaningless, and somewhat random. I will revise this one later.
...and its gone. ephemeral, intransient, and impermanent. like love and life and the cherry blossoms. and a cold steam whistle on a sunday afternoon.
What are you talking about?
I was commenting on the fact that this poem appeared in the top 15 for about an hour before someone gave it a zero out of spite.
thats all. I'm going to rewrite it anyway.
No out of spite, just showing the nature of the beast. When Settle logs in he will give all the poems in the top 15 0s, not out of spite, but to get Dark Angel's poems to fill both the best and worst lists. It is his ultimate tribute to nonsense. I originally gave this a 5. But now, you are number 3 on the billboard charts.
Ha. Thanks, man. And for another brief second, I'm swingin' at the top.
... So thats why Dark Angel is all over those lists. Hm.
with this being said, my theory of this site being one extremely large disfunctional family has been proven true. now, i shall truely sleep in peace...when i find my bed.
This is good, very good. 10
Hell, I think you just pushed me to the #1 spot. I feel like I should open some champaigne.
... And yet I'm not satisfied with this one at all. I need to completely rewrite the second stanza.
Yes indeed you did get to number one...that was yesterday, this is today...and some gay twat has already brought you down from 7.44 to 6.7 something...with a ridiculously (unjustified) low vote
Why not redo the poem but leave this version on...I think it's a brilliant piece, and I'm sure most people agree...in my opinion this deserves a place in the top five whatever the critics say...wonderful stuff
last 6 lines...been there, done that. that is also the precise reason they are my favorite ending lines EVER...except for the end of fight club.
Unfortunately I had to cut the ending off. But Fight Club is the beast! Great fuckin' movie.
lovely words...10
this has good ideas, but seems very unfinished
1
2
yer a good man, laddie. cheers, I'd buy ye a Guinness if I could.
Yar, and oim a leprechaun
Or a pirate.
I hereby declare 2003 to be the Year of the Pirate!
AAAarR, me mateys! Avast! Swab the poop deck! And something about Prawnes and Nudidity?
have you been carousing with tint?
Who is tint?
tintagiles. he's lyrical, like that.
i dunno, it just made me think of him.
3, i have to go work now. thanks for earlier.
this poem made me want to read your other stuff... i like it....i like it a lot... how convenient that my name also appears in the title! this is my fave of all that i have read so far on the site.... as far as editing it... keep this version in a box somewhere as a reminder of how you made me smile! :)
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