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not even soup (Haiku) by <~> well past dinner time,
dippers spill to a full moon--
hunger carves my thoughts
Up the ladder:
Missing the In-Between
Down the ladder:
Intersection
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 8.5
Posted: January 12, 2003 11:08 PM PST; Last modified: January 12, 2003 11:48 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.941295 Overall Rank: 1386 Comments:
[n/a]
god'swife @ 209.179.134.12
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12-Jan-03/11:32 PM
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The las two lines have individual potential, but together it's obscure beyond recognition.
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-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215
> god'swife
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12-Jan-03/11:41 PM
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What's so obscure about it? A PERSON IS VERY HUNGRY. THEY COMPARE THE BIG AND LITTLE DIPPERS TO SOUP LADLES. BUT IN FACT THEY ARE NOT SOUP LADES. THEY ONLY MADE THIS COMPARISON BECAUSE THEY HAD MISSED DINNER. hurrr I understand good
[n/a]
god'swife @ 209.179.134.12
> -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
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12-Jan-03/11:51 PM
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I guess I've never been hungry enough to hallucinate vast chowder.
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<~> @ 67.84.171.238
> god'swife
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12-Jan-03/11:59 PM
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title also implies soup kitchen, i thought
How does the title imply a soup kitchen? Being soupless.
How does a poem imply a wanker? Being brainless.
Also, how can a fluorescent light imply a cabinet? It can't. HA.
Pro !
very nice. no soup for you! but there is, actually. 9 swastikas!
sent to bed with no dinner, eh? staring out the window? this speaks to me that way. nicely done!
Very nice indeed, especially the last line; physical bodily processes have their effect on psychology - President Nasser nationalised the Suez Canal because he had toothache, or something. I like soup, especially tomato, but I a bagel for lunch today, which I filled with brie and put in a hot oven for fifteen minutes, and ate with cranberry sauce.
sounds delicious. today, i have some leftovers--stuffed cabbage, and veggies. i am looking forward to them very much. sometimes, food, sunshine, a glass of water, even--these are everything.
this I like. "well past dinner time" seems a bit prosaic for the rest in phrasing, but... I like.
and I've never really been comfortable with haikus giving information in the title that is not distinctly said (as opposed to hinted at) in the poem. 272 view(s)
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