Re: a comment on It's all over now that you're writing so by fevriere	20-Jul-04/12:38 AM
Like rhyming couplets? I thought paring was some kind of culinary term.
Re: Veins of spilt wine. by SupremeDreamer	18-Jul-04/1:56 PM
Cheer up love. "Rogue of the gallows" made me giggle a bit. Otherwise, que tu es formidable. (How you are formidable).
Re: The Beautiful Chase by smlink84	16-Jul-04/1:27 AM
No love for this verse.
Re: The Nude by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	16-Jul-04/1:26 AM
I dunno, it was a bit stupid but could be brilliant if you altered the last stanza. I spose.
Re: a comment on Tweenager, they're called now. by fevriere	11-Jul-04/2:32 AM
(Inarticulately): woo!
Re: a comment on Mm, Shoes... ? by fevriere	9-Jul-04/2:10 PM
Yes, I suppose so.
Re: a comment on Mm, Shoes... ? by fevriere	9-Jul-04/2:09 PM
O, bugger off.
Re: a comment on Translation by Dovina	7-Jul-04/10:23 AM
Not to be picky, but don't you think that the clunk of speech really suits that couplet? To me it's most frank and true.
Re: Sonnet on an Operating Table by Sasha	4-Jul-04/2:06 AM
Loved things like ": a knife", but please uncensor the beeps, as it were, it's like being at a clown party to be punctuated like this.
Re: a comment on War of kites and fireflies by fevriere	4-Jul-04/2:02 AM
I appreciated all of that. Note to self, stop going schizo on singular words and trying to accessorise them with asterisks in the middle of a perfectly good poem.
Re: a comment on New lover confirms poetic divorce by fevriere	11-Jun-04/3:47 AM
Yes, yes!
Re: Desire by Chasz Misleading	9-Jun-04/1:42 PM
Naked and Bloody. Really? Sucks to be You, then, I spose.
Re: Starting Over by justjay	7-May-04/1:36 AM
Sadly, I kinda like it. But have you ever seen an abyss?
Re: this old man (edit) by Bill Z Bub	7-May-04/1:35 AM
The first stanza is too much - I daren't say over-written - but the second has a ring to it.
Re: The Hell With Growing Up by wilco	7-Apr-04/7:40 AM
Personally, I dislike cancer being used as a metaphor, especially for something like time because to me, the two things are entirely different. But this is hardly a constructive criticism. The final line isn't poetic but the sentiment could go very far and the couplet structure is probably the best form for it. Excellent start but as yet I consider it a bit of a rough gem.
Re: a comment on Escaper by fevriere	7-Apr-04/7:33 AM
Space? You meant, altering the actual form "space"? Space-bar "space"? I have to confess I agree with those corrections. Bothersome not being able to read one's own work like that. I think 'crush' and 'worth' don't have the same juxtaposition as 'break'/'life'.
Re: a comment on Escaper by fevriere	7-Apr-04/7:28 AM
I'm afraid I just changed the title.
Re: a comment on Escaper by fevriere	6-Apr-04/10:11 AM
Because although I write a lot about myself, I was finally quite pleased to write something that wasn't exactly a self-analysis, more an advisory voice: I may understand what I am saying but the poem is a response, a literal "look at yourself".
Re: Disgusting Stickmen by Bobjim	25-Mar-04/9:27 AM
This is concrete poetry.
Re: a comment on Thank-you, outside by fevriere	18-Mar-04/9:57 AM
I like milliard. I hope it exists sensibly, unlike the background of the poem. Thanks for that, I hadn't noticed how surfaceful it was.