poemranker ::The Hell With Growing Up by wilco

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Other № 95486

The Hell With Growing Up

by wilco

Member since 2004 · Posted 30 Mar 2004 · 18 comments

Time is like a cancer, burning away every thread of the children that once we were. We spend our entire lives trying to recapture the wonderful feeling of a misspent youth. Driving too fast, using copious amounts of drugs and having promiscuous sex with strangers. We attempt to force the idea that these things are wrong, and all the while trying to claim them for ourselves. And can this childish hedonism really be so bad? Perhaps when you consider the times. The only difference between the foolish acts of men and boys is the severity of the punishment rendered. The death of my youth has been slow and painful, and now that it's gone I can't help but have regrets.

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18 comments

[4] baughworm 31-Mar-04/2:42 PM Reply
how old are you that you have wasted away to such a tremendous degree?
[n/a] wilco › baughworm 31-Mar-04/3:10 PM Reply
What does it matter?
[6] zodiac › wilco 31-Mar-04/3:40 PM Reply
For one thing, I don't believe you for a second. "Driving too fast, using copious amounts of drugs / and having promiscuous sex with strangers" is cribbed from a Reader's Digest 'Heroes for Today' bio about some reformed hobo. It reminds me of this Presbyterian church I went to as an undergrad where the minister was always saying things like "Before I found Jesus, I was heading down the 'Highway to Hell' [his air-quotes]. I cussed, I looked at dirty pictures, I had friends who were doing the drugs." Yeah. You're that guy.
[n/a] wilco › zodiac 31-Mar-04/3:57 PM Reply
Ok.....

1) You don't believe what? That I've driven too fast? That I've used drugs? That I've had sex with strangers? Who didn't do these things when they were in high school and college?

2) I'm not saying that I've found Jesus and I'm not condemning these things. In fact, I'm saying that I wish that I could still do them.
[6] zodiac › wilco 31-Mar-04/4:00 PM Reply
No.
[n/a] wilco › zodiac 31-Mar-04/4:03 PM Reply
No, what?
[6] zodiac › wilco 31-Mar-04/4:18 PM Reply
If I were inclined to give you any serious advice, it would probably be that you rewrite this entire poem to describe an actual event which took place during your 'hedonistic' youth (or, alternately, a bit of hedonism you've engaged in lately), trying as you write to avoid stating or implying ANY of the judgments/moralizations which you've included in this version. People will get it anyway. I would not condemn you for ending the poem if you absolutely had to with an image of your older, wiser self looking back on the aforementioned event and sighing wistfully. As hideous as that is, there are many worse things in the world to condemn, like Hummers, Andrew Sullivan, and other poetry sites besides poemranker. I hope this has been some help. Tchuss.
[6] zodiac › zodiac 31-Mar-04/4:21 PM Reply
I should add that I'm not inclined to serious advice tonight.

A flourescent cabbage-toasting beard-damper on cabbage toast.
[n/a] wilco › zodiac 31-Mar-04/4:26 PM Reply
That's funny. I was just about to reply with amazement that you gave a serious reccomendation, devoid of any (or, at least minimal)smart-assed comments. That struck me as unusual. Appreciated anyway.
[6] zodiac › wilco 31-Mar-04/4:35 PM Reply
I wish I had a good example of what I'm talking about posted here, but I started deleting all my poems about teenage hedonism around the time I decided not to give a fuck anymore. How about this one: http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=79687
[n/a] wilco › zodiac 31-Mar-04/4:55 PM Reply
I understood what you were saying. My, you ARE in rare form tonight. By the way, can you (or anyone else reading this) explain to me where the satisfaction lies for these people that log in anonymously and give themselves 10s? Off the subject, I know, but I was wondering...
[6] zodiac › wilco 31-Mar-04/5:06 PM Reply
CLS does it because she's a Christian, which necessarily means a liar and hypocrite. Jeremi probably does it because it's performance art.
[6] zodiac › wilco 31-Mar-04/5:04 PM Reply
You see, the real rub of the matter is that if you pine so much for a life of driving fast, using drugs, and having, if not promiscuous, then certainly plentiful sex - well, you could just DO IT. Sure driving fast and drugs are illegal, but that's not very much of a deterrent since the likelihood of getting arrested for any one infraction is incredibly low. And even promiscuous sex is probably okay provided you take a couple of clinical (and emotional) precautions.

But you can't, right? Because in some respect or other you've subscribed to a notion that 'adults' don't do those things - that they weren't so great, anyway. That, or you have no way of knowing because you didn't do them in the first place. Or you're just a kid trying to posit what you should feel like if you ever grow up to be an adult. I have no way of knowing.

In any event, it follows that the 'slow and painful' 'death' of your childhood you regret so much is just the incomplete reconciliation of a so-called standard, so-called adult morality to the suspicion that those things aren't in fact so bad - or, if they are, that you just don't give a fuck about screwing up your life. You should give it some thought. Or just smoke a joint and watch the history channel for 4 hours straight with your kids.
[n/a] wilco › zodiac 31-Mar-04/5:10 PM Reply
You're pretty funny and make good sense when you're not being an ass.
[7] Shuushin 31-Mar-04/8:01 PM Reply
I think it represents a good snapshot of a frame of mind in the moment just before one "grows up" (whatever that is) - this exact feeling.

You may be surprised, and perhaps relieved, to know that there is still a bit to go and you won't spend your entire life wishing for misspent youth.

As a slight aside, there is a recent study where folks aged 65 and older were asked what their favorite age was - 40-41 was the most cited result.
[n/a] wilco › Shuushin 31-Mar-04/9:13 PM Reply
Hey, you get it.
[7] fevriere 7-Apr-04/7:40 AM Reply
Personally, I dislike cancer being used as a metaphor, especially for something like time because to me, the two things are entirely different. But this is hardly a constructive criticism.

The final line isn't poetic but the sentiment could go very far and the couplet structure is probably the best form for it. Excellent start but as yet I consider it a bit of a rough gem.
[10] holliebollie_19 17-Jan-07/6:51 AM Reply
Your poem is very good. thanks for the comments and tips.