Replying to a comment on:

The Hell With Growing Up (Other) by wilco

Time is like a cancer, burning away every thread of the children that once we were. We spend our entire lives trying to recapture the wonderful feeling of a misspent youth. Driving too fast, using copious amounts of drugs and having promiscuous sex with strangers. We attempt to force the idea that these things are wrong, and all the while trying to claim them for ourselves. And can this childish hedonism really be so bad? Perhaps when you consider the times. The only difference between the foolish acts of men and boys is the severity of the punishment rendered. The death of my youth has been slow and painful, and now that it's gone I can't help but have regrets.

zodiac 31-Mar-04/4:18 PM
If I were inclined to give you any serious advice, it would probably be that you rewrite this entire poem to describe an actual event which took place during your 'hedonistic' youth (or, alternately, a bit of hedonism you've engaged in lately), trying as you write to avoid stating or implying ANY of the judgments/moralizations which you've included in this version. People will get it anyway. I would not condemn you for ending the poem if you absolutely had to with an image of your older, wiser self looking back on the aforementioned event and sighing wistfully. As hideous as that is, there are many worse things in the world to condemn, like Hummers, Andrew Sullivan, and other poetry sites besides poemranker. I hope this has been some help. Tchuss.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001