zodiac31 Mar 2004

If I were inclined to give you any serious advice, it would probably be that you rewrite this entire poem to describe an actual event which took place during your 'hedonistic' youth (or, alternately, a bit of hedonism you've engaged in lately), trying as you write to avoid stating or implying ANY of the judgments/moralizations which you've included in this version. People will get it anyway. I would not condemn you for ending the poem if you absolutely had to with an image of your older, wiser self looking back on the aforementioned event and sighing wistfully. As hideous as that is, there are many worse things in the world to condemn, like Hummers, Andrew Sullivan, and other poetry sites besides poemranker. I hope this has been some help. Tchuss.