Thanks.

*grumbles* It was French.. *grumbles*
But I appreciate the "December does not close".

Stop giving me 10s for imperfect poems! I'd prefer your honest 9 for after modifications.
-operastar just became a word. So ner.
-why can't those sentences stand alone, grammatically? (This is a genuine question).
-damn, you're right for once
-"December doesn't close" - I am satisfied with this. It is meant to mean "December isn't the end", "December doesn't mean that life is over - winter's not finished, and after winter cometh spring".

And that excuses a stream of rant? Shut me up with a vote. Great plan.

EE Cummings, for one.

Don't get tetchy about this.

Poemranker has shit poems and great poems, and this is the shitly expressed great poem of an amateur. An amateur! That's what I am. So, I appreciate your criticism and you must expect a small amount of covering-own-arse-style bullshitting. Next time, I will just submit meekly to your abusive eye.

Well, your point is very fair, and probably true. Do you think misuse of punctuation gets a poet rejected? I appreciate how it might look to the critical eye.. Amateurish, messy, hard to follow. If I sorted the punctuation, I don't suppose it will hurt the poem. My teacher suggested getting rid of all punctuation, which I would find preferable to making it very.. *tries not to say conformist*.. Correct. Readable.
And you're wrong, I'm not an attacker. I'm just a debater.

The capitalisation is like an unpunctualised way to give emphasis, like started sentences that finish from unfinished ones.

I know the thing with God is a big step, but it feels careless and reckless and brazen and besides I only really care about God. I can't think of anything else.. I guess, "This is how Gold/Good/flame feels".. I think they'd be weak openings. What does it feel like, first thing in the morning, when you're still a little sleep-drunk and dozy?

Fair point, me too. Is it cheesy? Could I alter the word order, e.g. wonder, wake, wander, dream - wander, wonder, wake, dream - ?

I was intending to introduce the punctuation and form of sentences steadily through the poem. Does this not work?

So is that good? Not damning, I guess. I think you just like reading a poem with unpredictable linesbreaks and big spaces.
But maybe I'm wrong about that. ;D Well, that's constructive, at least. Ta.

Bollocks, I thought it would be scorn-worthy (so why post?, you wonder. I'm sure you can answer that a few ways yourself). It's so straightforward. Did you really give it an 8? I feel a contradiction has been expressed. Possibly?

You can make a great living from it. And it's fun. It doesn't make me ashamed. Listen to your heart. Can't you hear it making up lies about your heritage?

I didn't know about the NHS but The Norfolk inbredding thing is no news to any English fellow. Or fellowette.

No shame in that.