| Re: a comment on Fourteen by fevriere |
17-Mar-04/3:51 AM |
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| Re: a comment on I could rule myself by fevriere |
7-Mar-04/2:59 AM |
*grumbles* It was French.. *grumbles*
But I appreciate the "December does not close".
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| Re: a comment on I could rule myself by fevriere |
6-Mar-04/10:35 AM |
Stop giving me 10s for imperfect poems! I'd prefer your honest 9 for after modifications.
-operastar just became a word. So ner.
-why can't those sentences stand alone, grammatically? (This is a genuine question).
-damn, you're right for once
-"December doesn't close" - I am satisfied with this. It is meant to mean "December isn't the end", "December doesn't mean that life is over - winter's not finished, and after winter cometh spring".
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| Re: Always And Forever by Pooh_N_His_Honey |
6-Mar-04/9:12 AM |
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| Re: rules by roses are read |
6-Mar-04/7:52 AM |
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I get that pudgy hip thing too.
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| Re: a comment on Early Morning by fevriere |
3-Mar-04/9:54 AM |
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And that excuses a stream of rant? Shut me up with a vote. Great plan.
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| Re: a comment on Early Morning by fevriere |
3-Mar-04/9:53 AM |
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| Re: a comment on Early Morning by fevriere |
3-Mar-04/9:52 AM |
Don't get tetchy about this.
Poemranker has shit poems and great poems, and this is the shitly expressed great poem of an amateur. An amateur! That's what I am. So, I appreciate your criticism and you must expect a small amount of covering-own-arse-style bullshitting. Next time, I will just submit meekly to your abusive eye.
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| Re: a comment on Early Morning by fevriere |
3-Mar-04/9:39 AM |
Well, your point is very fair, and probably true. Do you think misuse of punctuation gets a poet rejected? I appreciate how it might look to the critical eye.. Amateurish, messy, hard to follow. If I sorted the punctuation, I don't suppose it will hurt the poem. My teacher suggested getting rid of all punctuation, which I would find preferable to making it very.. *tries not to say conformist*.. Correct. Readable.
And you're wrong, I'm not an attacker. I'm just a debater.
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| Re: a comment on Early Morning by fevriere |
2-Mar-04/11:38 AM |
The capitalisation is like an unpunctualised way to give emphasis, like started sentences that finish from unfinished ones.
I know the thing with God is a big step, but it feels careless and reckless and brazen and besides I only really care about God. I can't think of anything else.. I guess, "This is how Gold/Good/flame feels".. I think they'd be weak openings. What does it feel like, first thing in the morning, when you're still a little sleep-drunk and dozy?
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| Re: a comment on Early Morning by fevriere |
2-Mar-04/11:29 AM |
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Fair point, me too. Is it cheesy? Could I alter the word order, e.g. wonder, wake, wander, dream - wander, wonder, wake, dream - ?
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| Re: a comment on Early Morning by fevriere |
2-Mar-04/11:28 AM |
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I was intending to introduce the punctuation and form of sentences steadily through the poem. Does this not work?
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| Re: Cold Rain Road by middenHeap |
1-Mar-04/3:28 AM |
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Liked the first half but "steel cubes" lost my interest. And the ending - must every poemranker poet discuss piss, shit or paedophilia in every goddamn poem? I can't take this vulgarity much longer. *le "tired artist" sigh*
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| Re: a comment on Passion is by fevriere |
29-Feb-04/7:24 AM |
So is that good? Not damning, I guess. I think you just like reading a poem with unpredictable linesbreaks and big spaces.
But maybe I'm wrong about that. ;D Well, that's constructive, at least. Ta.
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| Re: Ring Toss by Shin-Bojangles |
29-Feb-04/7:17 AM |
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| Re: Flies by Red_is_life |
29-Feb-04/7:14 AM |
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"Loneliness" is spelt wrong. It's not poetic. Poetry is show, not tell.
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| Re: a comment on Passion is by fevriere |
28-Feb-04/12:26 AM |
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Bollocks, I thought it would be scorn-worthy (so why post?, you wonder. I'm sure you can answer that a few ways yourself). It's so straightforward. Did you really give it an 8? I feel a contradiction has been expressed. Possibly?
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| Re: a comment on The Blues by fevriere |
16-Feb-04/9:51 AM |
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You can make a great living from it. And it's fun. It doesn't make me ashamed. Listen to your heart. Can't you hear it making up lies about your heritage?
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| Re: a comment on The Blues by fevriere |
14-Feb-04/2:44 PM |
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I didn't know about the NHS but The Norfolk inbredding thing is no news to any English fellow. Or fellowette.
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| Re: a comment on The Blues by fevriere |
14-Feb-04/2:43 PM |
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