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The Blues (Lyric) by fevriere The words hang like blues,
They shiver through you
and we can't stand the truth.
Now his hand's kissed you.
So this is what you are,
Hanging on to the blues,
Strung inside a guitar
Like the quivering truth.
Criminals on your case,
Everything haunting you,
Dark water, black lace,
The depth of the truth.
Tears unlike jewels
Dull as Norfolk in truth
Sinking smoke, so cruel,
Your own beautiful blues.
Up the ladder:
The End of the Beginning
Down the ladder:
Reclusion Il Drimaticus
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.25
Posted: January 12, 2004 3:35 AM PST; Last modified: January 12, 2004 3:35 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.029801 Overall Rank: 7302 Comments:
[7]
Everyone @ 131.111.212.215
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12-Jan-04/3:45 AM
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Reply
What the fuck is a quivering truth? Truth doesn't quiver.
[n/a]
fevriere @ 213.232.79.194
> Everyone
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12-Jan-04/4:00 AM
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Reply
It bloody well does.
[n/a]
middenHeap @ 213.61.217.3
> Everyone
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12-Jan-04/4:38 AM
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Reply
perhaps he meant quaver?
[n/a]
fevriere @ 62.254.128.6
> middenHeap
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12-Jan-04/1:54 PM
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Reply
She emant quiver. When the truth literally resonates and your perception or play of it swings closer and further away from it though the truth in itself remains untouched.
[n/a]
Goad @ 217.226.30.158
> fevriere
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12-Jan-04/2:07 PM
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Reply
That's a beautifully evocative image. I'm resonating myself after reading it. Nevertheless, I confess it saddens me to imagine I'll remain untouched, alone and...quivering.
[n/a]
lastobelus @ 217.226.30.158
> Goad
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12-Jan-04/2:16 PM
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Reply
watch out or you'll also be quavering, you old goat.
[n/a]
fevriere @ 62.254.128.6
> Goad
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13-Jan-04/9:09 AM
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Reply
Thanks for that. :)
[7]
Everyone @ 131.111.212.215
> fevriere
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12-Jan-04/2:55 PM
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Reply
By "literally", you must mean "figuratively". You know, the opposite of "literally". Truth doesn't literally resonate, because it doesn't have a molecular structure.
[n/a]
lastobelus @ 80.132.184.22
> Everyone
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12-Jan-04/3:41 PM
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Reply
I'm sure she meant figuratively, she was just being coy. I like that.
'Hang like blues' doesn't make any sense.
And I know there are those that have to cause fear, that would have us believe there were criminals on every corner. Nevertheless how did these criminals manage to sneek into your poem. His hands kissed you? must be to do with strumming but..
Poetry is by nature non-sensical. I was referring to the personal feeling of depression, and literally, music expressing depressive feelings, and its tendency to linger. The use of "hang" was a morbid touch. Sorry.
Again, the image of kissing hands is a non-literal poetic one that I thought sounded confused & lovely. But I suppose I am not writing for myself anymore. I must confess, I wrote it as a writing exercise with a list of required words. I should have re-read and edited but I didn't. I agree that the "criminals" idea looks, frankly, silly. Thank-you.
poetry is not non-sensical by nature.. if that was true, you could write complete gibberish and call it poetry.
"ga ga sluurp hiss hiss buurp and did a bird chiiirp wakaboo 'n green goo?" [Nobel Prize Winner!!!! NO?] Hang could go anyway.. since words like "cling" would be a better alternative.
Sssnnnwhuffffll?
Hnwhuffl hhnnwfl hnfl hfl? Gdroblboblhobngbl gbl gl g g g g glbgl. Drublhaflablhaflubhafgabhaflhafl fl fl - gm grawwwww grf grawf awfgm graw gm. Hovoplodok - doplodovok - plovodokot - doplodokosh? Splgraw fok fok splgrafhatchgabrlgabrl fok splfok! Zgra kra gka fok! Grof grawff gahf? Gombl mbl bl - blm plm, blm plm, blm plm, blp The Loch Ness Monster's Song, by Edwin Morgan. My point was, that poetry is wordplay, it's original use of traditional terms. It's giving words meaning.
I can't argue there. You have won this battle.. for now.
Dull as norfolk made me laugh
Do you know that as a doctor working for Her Majesty's NHS in Cambridgshire, England, my father did once remark that on the NHS patient charts he frequently used the abbreviation N.F.N, which stands for 'Normal For Norfolk'. You may not realise this, but in the past many parts of Norfolk - being mostly waterlogged - were very isolated, and a splendid amount of inbreeding took place. That's why people from Norfolk are generally spastics. Thanks, -10-
You're fabricating autobiographical details again.
http://www.in-sourced.com/article/articl
No shame in that.
What are you talking about? There is a great deal of shame in that.
You can make a great living from it. And it's fun. It doesn't make me ashamed. Listen to your heart. Can't you hear it making up lies about your heritage?
I didn't know about the NHS but The Norfolk inbredding thing is no news to any English fellow. Or fellowette.
Not bad..
seven. 230 view(s)
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