Re: a comment on We Have Never Spoken by fevriere	3-Jul-05/3:03 PM
Cool. Excellent feedback! I will work on an edit. New/no first stanza, & free verse.
Re: a comment on The Object of the Game by Dovina	30-Jun-05/10:03 AM
I second that idea! I like what you're on to.
Re: a comment on We Have Never Spoken by fevriere	30-Jun-05/10:02 AM
second stanza or throughout?
Re: The Object of the Game by Dovina	28-Jun-05/6:04 AM
Is rockmage senile? Or just uninspiringly offensive? Anyways: I like this poem - thank God it's not another "women suck because they ignore me".. Yaowl. I was just wondering about the repetition of "hurt" and "hurts" - intentional? I don't like it but this could be unfounded dislike.
Re: a comment on We Have Never Spoken by fevriere	28-Jun-05/6:00 AM
It's youth and arrogance, I think. The lead piping is a bit of an emotive, brutal, teenage response. What is the lsson of two? I thought it was just that while old age is impending, the speaker and their companion are "still young" ("I will.. go that way too.. but not before..").
Re: Labor. by darby pyn	11-Jun-05/10:31 AM
I am sorry to be such a blatant hanger-on but doubleU's right. I was waiting for you to pick your head up and give a wry verbal retort. I'll bet you can do it and in my opinion it would give this poem the arsekick it deserves. No vote 'til it gets better.
Re: a comment on Muggy by fevriere	11-Jun-05/10:19 AM
Shit, I hate it when my iced coffee gets spiked, don't you?
Re: a comment on Muggy by fevriere	11-Jun-05/1:37 AM
Wise move.
Re: a comment on Muggy by fevriere	11-Jun-05/1:37 AM
There were no mice in my mouth. It wasn't a real hangover. I'm not trying to regail you with tales of my alcoholism. (I feel like a nerd).
Re: a comment on Muggy by fevriere	10-Jun-05/11:52 AM
I assumed only the linebreaks varied.
Re: a comment on Muggy by fevriere	10-Jun-05/11:51 AM
How about, "I woke up with the morning, was beckoned out of bed"?
Re: Inspiration from absurdity by INTRANSIT	3-Jun-05/7:40 AM
Funky.
Re: Cast a shadow. by darby pyn	3-May-05/2:29 PM
No complaints. Hit between eyes and loss of all critical function. Thus this poem gets love.
Re: Actor by horus8	3-May-05/2:29 PM
I didn't like the final stanza. But I DID like the first few.
Re: PLEASE VOTE FOR MELANIE by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Yeah. Not at all bad for a topical verse.
Re: a comment on This one the love by thepinkbunnyofdoom	26-Apr-05/1:28 PM
I was affording myself time off my duty to Poesy as Head Critic. Maybe you need to do the same?
Re: Self Conscious by Damien	25-Apr-05/9:09 AM
It's a bit naked. Creation of or from sensation?
Re: a comment on Antique by Billy Fights	25-Apr-05/8:36 AM
Right. Is the poet likening himself to a mace?
Re: a comment on This one the love by thepinkbunnyofdoom	25-Apr-05/8:35 AM
Since I felt more moved to applaud the comment than the poem. No offense intended. I have a short attention span.
Re: Antique by Billy Fights	24-Apr-05/3:34 PM
What's a morningstar? Is it one of those little choppy throwable disc things with spikes? I must confess, the first stanza made me want to puke but the fourth I really liked (and the second was ok too - I'm just lost on the morningstar). Weird, eh?