Re: a comment on This one the love by thepinkbunnyofdoom	24-Apr-05/3:31 PM
Amen to that.
Re: Arab Shepherd (a belief poem for Dovina) by zodiac	24-Apr-05/3:27 PM
I like it and despite having a pick, can't find or accord with any faults pointed out thus far. It's a good poem, worthy of a good handful of reads, which is rare; it does have a Frostian quality to it, I'm sure. Observant narrative, conclusive moral. And the twas. :)
Re: a comment on Couplet by fevriere	24-Apr-05/3:22 PM
Exactly my point. ;D I don't suppose it's ever a waste to bless something, but it's a waste to praise the unpraiseworthy. Does that mean my poem's just a nice pair of lines and not really a poem at all.
Re: a comment on A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere	24-Apr-05/3:18 PM
"love's potatoes" would be too confusing, as if lust/fruit was the potato of love. Get me? "and" needs cutting though, excellent call.
Re: a comment on A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere	22-Apr-05/1:33 AM
Thanks. I am surprised though because I'm not sure how much that line means.
Re: a comment on A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere	22-Apr-05/1:32 AM
Ta.
Re: a comment on A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere	22-Apr-05/1:32 AM
That too.
Re: a comment on A Wanderlust To The New by fevriere	18-Apr-05/1:10 AM
Thanks.
Re: Three words and thirty coins by Caducus	5-Apr-05/8:07 AM
Nyah.. I'm afraid this tastes a bit stale to me. "The God's"? Do you mean "the gods" or am I missing something? No vote - hoping it might be revised.
Re: a comment on Sleeping Beauty by fevriere	17-Mar-05/2:35 AM
Does the waking up not deserve a big break? I see what you mean, sadly.
Re: a comment on An Ice Revelation by Nateislate	6-Feb-05/8:57 AM
It is too.
Re: Concerto Chaotic by thepinkbunnyofdoom	5-Feb-05/1:39 AM
I really do like it - the first stanza was definitely captivating, for the confident entrance and then the creeping of doubts. But call me ignorant.. It's not really.. Poetic. You're not hiding anything. And what you explain seems to go on a long time. I think there are lines here that are superfluous - they don't help so they drag. Like "into the shadows". Sounds very The Rasmus. At least forget the linebreak that makes it independent.
Re: a comment on Enrapture by fevriere	5-Feb-05/1:13 AM
I had no idea - I always just thought an arabesque was a painful-looking but delicate stretch. Thank you!
Re: a comment on Enrapture by fevriere	3-Feb-05/3:08 PM
No. He's quite right, it's not saying much.
Re: An Ice Revelation by Nateislate	3-Feb-05/9:43 AM
.. Hopefully this poem is more than just a (successful) experiment with line indentation.
Re: Broken by singinkygal	3-Feb-05/9:31 AM
Oddly I like this, to begin with, but if there are no words to speak, how can you even squeeze a rhyme out of a poem? Have you considered cutting it off after "or what is right"? The "heart's heavy song" coul be the title - 'tis a redeemable line but the best poetry is the best words (e.g. for a poem on this theme, few?) in the right order (to give a sense of dullness, emptiness.
Re: a comment on A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere	2-Feb-05/3:27 PM
Better how? Ideas, ideas. The fruit/potatoes stays but I'm going to move it to the beginning of the poem. Deal?
Re: a comment on A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere	2-Feb-05/10:12 AM
Thanks!
Re: a comment on A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere	2-Feb-05/10:11 AM
Ah, potatoes! There's a thought. Not sure what's going on with "make love(,) flower".
Re: James The Dashing Pirate by thepinkbunnyofdoom	2-Feb-05/8:37 AM
The first two lines were a hook for rhyme-loving girls like self. What are golden heels about? I do like it, even the gentle shortening of the line lengths is very effective but I can't help thinking if you played around with it more, it might flow - moments like reflection/perception don't seem to be exceptions but more highlights. What do you think; do you want it to rhyme? No vote yet because I don't believe it's finished.