I like it and despite having a pick, can't find or accord with any faults pointed out thus far. It's a good poem, worthy of a good handful of reads, which is rare; it does have a Frostian quality to it, I'm sure. Observant narrative, conclusive moral. And the twas. :)

Nyah.. I'm afraid this tastes a bit stale to me. "The God's"? Do you mean "the gods" or am I missing something? No vote - hoping it might be revised.

I really do like it - the first stanza was definitely captivating, for the confident entrance and then the creeping of doubts.

But call me ignorant.. It's not really.. Poetic. You're not hiding anything. And what you explain seems to go on a long time. I think there are lines here that are superfluous - they don't help so they drag.

Like "into the shadows". Sounds very The Rasmus. At least forget the linebreak that makes it independent.

.. Hopefully this poem is more than just a (successful) experiment with line indentation.

Oddly I like this, to begin with, but if there are no words to speak, how can you even squeeze a rhyme out of a poem? Have you considered cutting it off after "or what is right"? The "heart's heavy song" coul be the title - 'tis a redeemable line but the best poetry is the best words (e.g. for a poem on this theme, few?) in the right order (to give a sense of dullness, emptiness.

The first two lines were a hook for rhyme-loving girls like self. What are golden heels about? I do like it, even the gentle shortening of the line lengths is very effective but I can't help thinking if you played around with it more, it might flow - moments like reflection/perception don't seem to be exceptions but more highlights.

What do you think; do you want it to rhyme?
No vote yet because I don't believe it's finished.