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Concerto Chaotic (Free verse) by thepinkbunnyofdoom
He walked in drunk and confident
But now he wonders
If the mysteries behind his eyes
Are just another part of his mask
Not a lie, so much as a carefully constructed
Dancing to what seems his hearts content
The truth is his strength is gone and spent
He knows he could have what he's looking for
But now the question is whether he wants it anymore
His dreams are like floating bubbles that burst
Filled with hot hair and carbon dioxide
And as a random possibility attachs itself to his lips
She runs his hands along her tighes, and clutches them to her breast
And he can taste the contents of the bottle still on her lips
Then she stumbles and she trips
And then in that moment he loses it
That mask that was his confidence
Made from Ivory and Pearl
And when its finally been replaced
Returned to its rightful place
The show is coming to an end
But its far too late by then
The seal of his secrets broken
His worst fears, for a second on, display for the world to see
Even though its never said
He sees himself as a monster underneath
Nothing you can say will change that belief
So for a moment
Into the shadows
With all his hints and teasing glances
What is it that he really wants?
A sweet interlude or something truely romantic?
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.888889
Weighted score: 6.4444447
Overall Rank: 745
Posted: February 3, 2005 6:26 PM PST; Last modified: February 3, 2005 6:26 PM PST
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Comments:
258 view(s)
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But call me ignorant.. It's not really.. Poetic. You're not hiding anything. And what you explain seems to go on a long time. I think there are lines here that are superfluous - they don't help so they drag.
Like "into the shadows". Sounds very The Rasmus. At least forget the linebreak that makes it independent.