poemranker ::A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere

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Free verse № 119262

A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting")

by fevriere

Member since 2004 · Posted 31 Jan 2005 · Edited 20 Apr 2005 · 21 comments

I have planted your name in phonebooks, in address lists, in neat little rows in places where it will be easy to uproot (where you can't make love flower, where no apple grows) where it won't flower with every look it gets. I am still drunk on your scent. I repeat what I know: (that love blossoms when you tend it) lust is only fruit, and love's just potatoes.

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21 comments

[8] SupremeDreamer 31-Jan-05/6:05 PM Reply
Sure is more creative and solid than the usual--

"I hate you, you bastard, stabbed me in the heart, I'm stronger, don't need you, you'll regret dumping or cheating on me, blarg, blarg, etc, etc."

I almost gave up the hope that somebody would put some thought into an "uprooting" poem.

Blessed with eight.
[n/a] fevriere › SupremeDreamer 1-Feb-05/4:39 AM Reply
Thank-you!
[10] zodiac 1-Feb-05/10:00 PM Reply
The apples took me by surprise. Don't know why.
[n/a] fevriere › zodiac 2-Feb-05/8:12 AM Reply
They were late addition. Tempted to cut them to:

where you cannot make love flower
or get me drunk on your heady scent.

And lose the lust..love's.. lines.
[9] sliver 2-Feb-05/8:45 AM Reply
Enjoyable reading
[n/a] fevriere › sliver 2-Feb-05/10:12 AM Reply
Thanks!
[9] richa 2-Feb-05/9:56 AM Reply
Comma after love in fourth verse I presume. Love's only potatoes made me giggle. Personally I would have put it at the start, dare the narrator to explain herself on the whole love spud thing.
[n/a] fevriere › richa 2-Feb-05/10:11 AM Reply
Ah, potatoes! There's a thought. Not sure what's going on with "make love(,) flower".
[8] wilco 2-Feb-05/3:16 PM Reply
Not bad. I thing the smart tart bit could be better, but I like the fruit/potatoes lines.
[n/a] fevriere › wilco 2-Feb-05/3:27 PM Reply
Better how? Ideas, ideas.
The fruit/potatoes stays but I'm going to move it to the beginning of the poem. Deal?
[8] wilco › fevriere 2-Feb-05/3:31 PM Reply
Don't make deals. it's your poem. I don't know about that one part. I'll think on it. I'm just not a big fan of rhyme in free verse.
[8] Goad 3-Feb-05/2:28 PM Reply
I liked the apples line very much. It's like one of those delightful, bursting with child-like joy unexepected lines eec was so good at surprising you with.
[n/a] fevriere › Goad 22-Apr-05/1:33 AM Reply
Thanks. I am surprised though because I'm not sure how much that line means.
[9] INTRANSIT 21-Apr-05/3:23 PM Reply
I like the spuds at the end. just potatoes/ just desserts. cool.
[n/a] fevriere › INTRANSIT 22-Apr-05/1:32 AM Reply
Ta.
[8] edpeterson 21-Apr-05/7:29 PM Reply
i thought love was just sausages.
[n/a] fevriere › edpeterson 22-Apr-05/1:32 AM Reply
That too.
[10] zodiac 22-Apr-05/1:40 PM Reply
Drop "and" from the last line.
[10] zodiac › zodiac 22-Apr-05/1:42 PM Reply
And maybe "just", too.
[n/a] fevriere › zodiac 24-Apr-05/3:18 PM Reply
"love's potatoes" would be too confusing, as if lust/fruit was the potato of love. Get me? "and" needs cutting though, excellent call.
[6] deleted user 16-Jun-05/4:36 PM Reply
Brackets are irritating, last two lines are delightful.