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A Wanderlust To The New (Sonnet) by fevriere A snowglint shines. Diana's virgin moon:
lighthouse of innocents; a happenstance;
a wanderlust for the young, keen and new,
who fall on love, and shyly, smally dance.
Timid are they, naked the white of eyes.
Likewise, they nibble a sliver of sleep
Then wake to a whisper of goosepimple.
They walk, blank-cheeked, blanketed, and make peep.
So what is this thrumming coin on the strand?
A pure heart that no-one has touched before.
A full moon dragged down like a low balloon.
A pale beached pearl on the wide blust'ry shore.
humming, "come little one, my Delight!
Breathe me a still breath tonight".
Up the ladder:
In praise of racism
Down the ladder:
Ode à beaucoup l'esprit
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.75
Posted: October 31, 2004 12:41 PM PST; Last modified: December 23, 2004 10:08 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.2086053 Overall Rank: 4480 Comments:
Okay, a bit cheesy but nice work!! Just the rhyme needs a little more work. You start with abcb and end up with aaaa. Anyways, hanks for reading mine. I've posted a new one too. Look at it if you have the chance.
You're quite right. I think it needs going over with a ruler.
I've edited it, according to your crit. Thanks! If you'd like to reread it, it's above.
Beautiful!!!
"So what is this thrumming coin on the strand?" is very nice.
Thanks.
Aside from 'smally dance' this is so good. I don't know why people haven't read you more on here.
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How about the poem has NO meter whatsoever and desparately cries for one.
Also the subject is a bit cliché