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Sonnet on an Operating Table (Terza Rima) by Sasha Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita....
Midway upon the gurney of our life,
Iâm semiconcious in a dismal room,
Dim mental twilight, doctorâs tools: a knife
Scalpel and needle glinting in the gloom.
Seeing senseless, with one too few anesthetic
Injections. Slice. A cut. A slash. Iâm numb
Though open, heart exposed. The apathetic
Penumbra seeps around. The dim-pitched squeals
Whine over the (BEEP!) mumblings of the medic,
Like echos through a canyon my head reels
About in. (BEEP!) my mind sinks farther, deep
In crimson sunset. Less my body feels
(BEEP!) more my thought sees. Gaping white of sleep.
(BEEP!) Iâm awash. (BEEP!) Going up. BEEP BEEEEEEEEEP!
Up the ladder:
dream dream dream dream dream
Down the ladder:
7 Days of Suicide
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.9666667
Posted: May 8, 2004 10:51 AM PDT; Last modified: May 8, 2004 10:51 AM PDTWeighted score: 6.9648747 Overall Rank: 126 Comments:
[7]
nentwined @ 66.92.183.34
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8-May-04/12:02 PM
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very cute. and points for being the first poster of the form.
[n/a]
Sasha @ 69.138.236.63
> nentwined
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8-May-04/12:16 PM
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Yes, I saw this "Terza Rima" category sitting in the form menu, all alone because it had no poems for company. The poor thing was so dejected and depressed that I took pity on it and decided to give it a poem to spend its digits with. Now I know that it's not entirely Terza Rima (Terza Rima it typically much longer and has no couplet at the end, but I don't have the patience to write a whole Inferno's worth, though my translation of Canto I of the Inferno is in the works) but it'll do for now to help the category live happily ever after
[10]
zodiac @ 67.240.155.122
> Sasha
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8-May-04/5:01 PM
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Robert Pinsky's Inferno is already ultra-ace. This isn't bad. I know I'm supposed to be making fun of you again. Consider yourself momentarily reprieved.
[n/a]
Sasha @ 69.138.236.63
> zodiac
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8-May-04/5:37 PM
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Pinsky's Inferno, which is on my shelf at the moment, is extremely good. It just doesen't sound at all like Dante
[10]
zodiac @ 67.240.192.201
> Sasha
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8-May-04/6:03 PM
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Exactly.
[n/a]
Sasha @ 69.138.236.63
> zodiac
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8-May-04/6:16 PM
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Pinsky's Inferno is supposed to sound like Dante'. If it doesen't, then it has failed, no matter how good it may be.
[10]
zodiac @ 67.240.192.4
> Sasha
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8-May-04/6:24 PM
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What bow'ls.
[n/a]
Sasha @ 69.138.236.63
> zodiac
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11-May-04/8:36 PM
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the tenth circle in the bow'ls of the inferno
This good, I like the attempt to bring in the sounds of the situation. And it makes me think of 'Lady Godiva's Operation' by the Velvet Underground, which is a great song.
Here comes the moment of great decision As the doctor is making his first incision.
Loved things like ": a knife", but please uncensor the beeps, as it were, it's like being at a clown party to be punctuated like this.
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