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The Beautiful Chase (Free verse) by smlink84
As the crisp wind Blew through my face, I saw the moon Fly with grace. It mellowed me For I knew The sight would not last, Broken to tears I started to reminisce The past. High in the sky Floated the moon Passing through the broken clouds, As a mother intent on With a million vows. But that sight is gone For other eyes to witness, Because beauty is easily seen But difficult in comprehension. But through that comprehension I have come to understand, Why I thought of you When the moon floated away, Because I wanted to remember And capture it’s natural ways. But when I tried I saw your face, When it was beauty Whom I tried to chase.

Down the ladder: Starless

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.880797
Overall Rank: 10150
Posted: March 24, 2004 9:22 PM PST; Last modified: March 24, 2004 9:23 PM PST
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Comments:
[6] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 25-Mar-04/6:38 AM | Reply
problem with this:

"As a mother intent on
With a million vows."

the language use with all those conjunctions, prepositions and simple verbs doesn't do this much help.
[n/a] wFraser Allonby Q.C.w @ 195.157.153.253 | 25-Mar-04/9:26 AM | Reply
Gosh!
[n/a] smlink84 @ 68.98.150.99 > wFraser Allonby Q.C.w | 25-Mar-04/6:40 PM | Reply
What does that mean?
[2] fevriere @ 62.254.128.6 | 16-Jul-04/1:27 AM | Reply
No love for this verse.
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