Re: smokestack blues by wilco	28-May-04/1:06 AM
Something about this poem bothers me.. I'm not sure why either... which is why I shall refrain from voting.
Re: Horror Film by Jeremi B. Handrinos	27-May-04/2:09 PM
Smashin. Only one thing leaves me wondering: "Ignotum per ignotious" What exactly does that mean? I have no knowledge of latin. Other than that, blessed with ten.
Re: Child of Troy by Caducus	27-May-04/2:06 PM
Yes, this does tickle my fancy. Nice write. Blessed with nine.
Re: Sarah's Song by wilco	19-May-04/12:34 AM
Smashin. Blessed with nine.
Re: Jesus, I funneled enough beer to marry that? by Bachus	19-May-04/12:30 AM
Now thats fucking funny. Hope to hear it soon. Blessed with nine.
Re: PATIENCE by jroday	18-May-04/8:54 AM
You asked me to give you my take on this poem, so here it is: The poem is mushy, dull, and whiny. It's another poem where the writer is "reaching out" for acceptance, understanding, and help- Such poems irritate me, and is the sort of thing that wiser poets avoid writing. Again you've labeled your poem as a lyric, and its not. If you disagree, then explain to me how, in any way, it can be a lyric and actually be sung along with music. Theres slight hic-ups in your use of the english language also, such as: 'Does the world have [the] time and patiences too see?' --Patiences? Whats the s for? Theres no plural form for the word patience, its singular. Also, its good to use articles in english (the, a, & an) so use them. In there line of work their the boss. I'm only paying the cost. When they decide to fire I suffer the lost. --They who? Seizures? Are they some wierd race that torture those that suffer from epilepsy? Do you work for them and recieve pay and suffer the loss of a paycheck if they fire you? Thats quite odd.. doesn't make much sense really, wouldn't you agree? So with that said, you'll understand my blessing of zero.
Re: I MISS YOU by jroday	18-May-04/6:39 AM
A couple things with this poem bother me: 1: It's not really a lyric. 2: It has a rhyme scheme thats built with words that have similiar endings. You didn't pay attention to how the words actually sound like- for instance the first line ends with "alone", the second line ends with gone. Say those two words out loud, you'll notice that they sound nothing alike, therefore they don't rhyme. 3: It's extremely cliche, and unimaginative. I know this is a really "personal" piece, but that doesn't change the fact that its not well written, crippled, by your poor use of basic poetic mechanics. 4: The ending is absolutely HORRIBLE- sounds like the shit priests say to comfort a person at confession. In short, you didn't put any real effort into writing this in a creative, original fashion, or you simply lack the skill needed to craft a poem of decent quality. It's obvious that you have no experience with writing. My advice is that you read some real poetry and experience some real literary style. Come up with your own style and develop it- learn about basic technique and the proper use of poetic devices. In time you'll build up skill and start writing poetry thats worth reading. Blessed with zero.
Re: I Dream Angel by horus8	18-May-04/5:19 AM
This is your best work yet, in my opinion- it touches my soul, and I can relate to it. I'll be stickin this one in my favs. Blessed with ten.
Re: a comment on The follies befalling an unfledged street poet. by SupremeDreamer	8-May-04/6:08 AM
But you give me a ten? Odd.
Re: California triolets by zodiac	8-May-04/6:06 AM
Well crafted, and was a pleasure to read. Blessed with ten.
Re: American Idle by wilco	8-May-04/5:59 AM
Change: "only how to steal break my heart." To: "only how to steal & break my heart." Other than that, its fuckin groovy and sparks my fire- Blessed with ten. Good work.
Re: The Towel Head Blues by horus8	8-May-04/5:56 AM
-Nod-, Tell it like it is, ole pal. American military control in Iraq is tyrannical, Uncle Sam puppeteers the oil from Baghdad, sandniggers revolt with jihad-- oh, don't forget, now I pay two dollars & eighty cents a gallon, price soon to rise up to three bucks a gal. It's fuckin bullshit, this regimented, puritan cultured country of rednecks with blind & senseless faith; scattered groups of rebels, 'n grotesque individuals socially scorned by the majority of american folk-- a.k.a: Propoganda slaves. Blessed with ten.
Re: Where Have All the Punk Rockers Gone? by wilco	8-May-04/5:33 AM
Yep, it's savvy kewl & gets m'juices sizzlin. Blessed with nine.
Re: Funeral of My Childhood by Spindle	8-May-04/5:27 AM
Your poem is young and fledgling, but you show some promise- just expand your topic/style/view of life around you when wielding the pen. Blessed with seven.
Re: a comment on Vodka kisses & the final sigh. by SupremeDreamer	8-May-04/5:18 AM
Thanks for your comment- it's appreciated, & I'm honored that the above villanelle of mine is one of your favs. It's my latest written success; I was coasting slightly below average after posting my ode "I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, Futility)".
Re: a comment on Vodka kisses & the final sigh. by SupremeDreamer	8-May-04/5:07 AM
Thank you, I'm very proud and pleased with this piece myself. I've been trying to hone my skills in crafting vilanelles for some time now. I've gotten pretty good with form, rhyme-scheme & structure; now I'm working on improving my use of meter, or in reality, my nonexistent use of meter-- I didn't really give much attention to meter in my earlier works, so it's time I integrated that into my style & writing technique.
Re: a comment on Vodka kisses & the final sigh. by SupremeDreamer	8-May-04/4:49 AM
I have decided to incorporate your suggestions into version II of the above villanelle-- I'm currently forging it in my tropical, subterranean poetry cupola; it'll be posted soon.
Re: a comment on The follies befalling an unfledged street poet. by SupremeDreamer	8-May-04/4:40 AM
"life is basically different layers or levels of bullshit; you choose which layer/level of bullshit you like the most, & that is your bullshit- the bullshit you're comfortable representing & pitching to everyone around you." --The movie "Hero". That said, thanks for the ten.
Re: a comment on Samurai by SupremeDreamer	4-May-04/2:11 AM
Well, no, but I was mainly inspired by the movie "The Last Samurai".
Re: a comment on Samurai by SupremeDreamer	4-May-04/2:09 AM
'pon sounded better on the first line in my opinion.