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The follies befalling an unfledged street poet. (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer
Elegance was perhaps, my first mistake as a new born street poet-- The assumption that my lines of verse had to appear refined & exotic, with aureate wording carrying the touch of melodrama, caused my works to appear childish & comically unripened. Having been caught in the moment was perhaps, my second mistake as a fledgling writer-- The rush of emotion & thought left my verse devoid of sound & organic structure, resulting in poems that were perceptibly rushed; not carefully penned & constructed, like verse created with the pen of a mature poet. Arrogance and indifference was perhaps, my third mistake as a naive & young street poet-- Ignoring wholesome criticism & stern advice, I continued to repeat my mistakes, remaining oblivious to having made them. My verse was therefore without sensible humility. I could mention other mistakes, but these are the ones which most affected my verse & the direction of my pen, & therefore are worth pointing out. Despite having made such mistakes, I am without shame or regret since my work, though slowly, has grown stronger from these blunders. Perhaps the worst thing an abecedarian poet could do, in the course of his calling, is avoid making mistakes-- the ultimate blunder one can commit. A poet with faults that lie in wait, is an immature poet left unchanged-- a poet who remains vulnerable & vestigial; easy prey amongst fierce & savage poets.

Up the ladder: Simple
Down the ladder: Dovecote

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 32
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.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 8.428572
Weighted score: 5.922085
Overall Rank: 1393
Posted: May 8, 2004 2:50 AM PDT; Last modified: May 8, 2004 2:50 AM PDT
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Comments:
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 | 8-May-04/3:32 AM | Reply
Along with horus8, you seem to delight in the notion that you're constantly leaping forward poetically and spiritually, unaware that you've merely enrolled in yet another new school of guff. -10-
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.164.173 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 8-May-04/4:40 AM | Reply
"life is basically different layers or levels of bullshit; you choose which layer/level of bullshit you like the most, & that is your bullshit- the bullshit you're comfortable representing & pitching to everyone around you." --The movie "Hero".

That said, thanks for the ten.
[10] zodiac @ 67.240.192.59 | 8-May-04/5:20 AM | Reply
I graduate from Poetry School with my Master's in Poetry today.

This is a general announcement and has nothing to do with this poem, which I find is almost unreadable and totally, unsurprisingly about SupremeDreamer. -10-
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.163.23 > zodiac | 8-May-04/6:08 AM | Reply
But you give me a ten? Odd.
[n/a] <~> @ 64.252.164.251 > zodiac | 8-May-04/11:31 AM | Reply
kudos, mr zodiac.
[9] deleted user @ 68.66.196.168 | 8-May-04/10:08 AM | Reply
I relate to most of these mistakes. A fairly close description of my own process. Let us not be poets left unchangable. Good.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.225 > deleted user | 8-May-04/10:15 AM | Reply
WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE THIS POEME A -10- HMM?
[9] deleted user @ 68.66.196.168 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 8-May-04/10:27 AM | Reply
Why didn't you give it a nine?
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.225 > deleted user | 8-May-04/10:56 AM | Reply
because it doesn't deserve a nine
[9] deleted user @ 68.66.196.168 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 8-May-04/11:10 AM | Reply
Yes, I suppose something that "merely enrolled in yet another new school of guff" deserves something less.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.225 > deleted user | 8-May-04/3:52 PM | Reply
Did you think to yourself: "Yes, this is a good poeme, and I can relate to many of the mastakes it describes, but it just doesn't have that special something which all -10- poemes must have. So I'll give it a -9-"?
[9] deleted user @ 68.66.196.168 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 8-May-04/3:58 PM | Reply
Yes.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.225 > deleted user | 8-May-04/4:06 PM | Reply
You clearly put a great deal of thought into your votes, and I think that's very mature of you. Did you think you should give it a -9- as opposed to an -8- because it is a cut above the poemes you usually vote -8- on?
[9] deleted user @ 68.66.196.168 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 8-May-04/4:14 PM | Reply
I don't have clear criteria for my votes. I just thought it was an extra-good poem, but not one of the few "best" poems that I have given 10's to. Admittedly, my votes depend on my mood and the weather also. Perhaps you're coming to that.
[n/a] Don-Quixote @ 204.31.170.100 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 8-May-04/12:23 PM | Reply
Why does it deserve a ten?
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.225 > Don-Quixote | 8-May-04/3:32 PM | Reply
Because it is brimming with wisdom and beauty -10-
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.169.97 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 20-Jun-04/3:33 AM | Reply
You know, only you can kiss my ass and make it sting, then leave me to wonder, at ungodly hours of the night, if your comment was a product of sarcasm, perverse amusement, simple mockery, or acting out your favorite "maturity" masquerade.

Then I wonder why the hell I'd be thinking about it now when it's pointless, buried in the past, therefor dead, moot, and asking myself about it is anything but productive.

Your a disease that remains present always, but only produce symptoms at random... like herpes.. or syphillis tolerant to penicillin. I think Sadaam tried to clone you in an evil plot to infect the world with you, leading to the earths social collapse by slowly, but surely, making people go insane.

But the thing that irritates me the most is that
though its you, such characteristics to me are at the least
admirable in a sick sadistic sort of way.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.135 > SupremeDreamer | 20-Jun-04/9:25 AM | Reply
I haven't said this before, but I really do like this piece. I wasn't being sarcastic when I gave it a ten. I think it's fantastic and definitely the best thing you've ever written. You're really beginning to mature as a writer, so keep it up. -10-
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