poemranker ::American Idle by wilco

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Free verse № 95994

American Idle

by wilco

Member since 2004 · Posted 3 Apr 2004 · Edited 4 May 2004 · 27 comments

Set out from Memphis, eastbound on I-40 . Only made it 100 miles before I sputtered out. Keeping pace with life is harder than it seems. At least I'm consistent... always doing nothing. Waiting for my chance to make something happen. Betting on the wrong horse will get you a brand new dream. I'm played out on the bars and the women that frequent them. They know nothing of life... only how to steal break my heart. Stolen meals do taste better, as long as they're not your last. Maybe I'll join the Army and kill me some for'ners. It would take a little effort, but fatigue is my color. Getting tired is easy to do, as long as you have some energy. Set out from Jackson, westbound on I-40. Only made it 100 miles before I sputtered out. Sometimes I wonder where my life is going Sitting on the couch, eating apple pie, and cursing at the Cubs.

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mean 7.25 weighted 6.98 rank 101 views 373 View voting details →

16 votes so far. Yours would make 17.16 votes so far

27 comments

[7] hatedestruction 5-May-04/5:32 AM Reply
going nowhere, nice...
[8] Shuushin 5-May-04/5:46 AM Reply
"fatigue is my color." - very very good.

There are so many standard set pieces in here though, I can't decide if its giving it a classic, or a tired feel. Hmmm...

That line though, love that.
[n/a] wilco › Shuushin 5-May-04/12:15 PM Reply
tired. But that's the idea.
[8] Shuushin › wilco 5-May-04/12:38 PM Reply
Yes, was thinking that. Its a bit of a quandry though: do you make the poem express the emotion at the expense of making it unenjoyable - I mean this in a global sense, btw; not that yours was necessarily unenjoyable (had some very good parts).
[n/a] wilco › Shuushin 5-May-04/2:02 PM Reply
Depends on waht you expect to accomplish with your writing. If you don't care if anyone enjoys it and simply want to create art, then I think it's ok. But then you go back to the aforementioned question of "why do it at all if no one wants to read it". In other words, I don't know. I just write 'em and hope that SOMEBODY likes 'em while still letting me say what I want to say.
[10] edpeterson 5-May-04/7:27 AM Reply
ANybody who curses at the cubs gets an automatic 10. though this was a very good poem on its own.
[10] zodiac 5-May-04/7:31 AM Reply
10 for "fatigue is my color". There are so many things about this poem I'd change if it were mine; that line isn't one of them.
[10] zodiac 5-May-04/7:43 AM Reply
Speaking of those Idol shows, Ben Folds' "Army" is a great model for anyone trying to write ace pop songs. Bjork's "Army of Me" is not.
[8] Shuushin › zodiac 5-May-04/7:48 AM Reply
Don't be messin' with my girl, now.
[10] zodiac › Shuushin 5-May-04/7:54 AM Reply
I don't think she's your type. Have you seen the video for "All Is Full of Love"?
[8] Shuushin › zodiac 5-May-04/8:17 AM Reply
Under the category of "overshare":

Most definitely - I own it, and the rest of her videos, and something like 200 remixes and original versions of her songs.

I have really three favorite musical artists and they are:

Tool
Eagles
Bjork

(this includes A Perfect Circle and Henley, natch).
[10] zodiac › Shuushin 5-May-04/8:26 AM Reply
Android Bjork 69ing another android Bjork has to be the second most arousing thing I've ever seen, after CLS's website photos. The 1st "snare" remix of AIFOL is the best.

Bjork I can understand some, but Tool and Eagles??? They've only written one song each!! Come on!
[8] Shuushin › zodiac 5-May-04/8:27 AM Reply
OMG!

Blasphemer!! Burn him - BURN HIMMMM!!!
[10] zodiac › Shuushin 5-May-04/8:29 AM Reply
Quoting Tool lyrics?
[8] Shuushin › zodiac 5-May-04/8:32 AM Reply
Check em out.
[10] zodiac › Shuushin 5-May-04/8:39 AM Reply
Oh I am!
[8] Shuushin › zodiac 5-May-04/8:57 AM Reply
Lateralus in particular.
[10] zodiac › Shuushin 5-May-04/8:39 AM Reply
The Eagles song goes like this:

I like the cheatin' kind of women,
Which all women are, and terminally numb;
She's going to her sorry-ass man's for some sinnin'
While I sit at home, 'cause I'm dumb.

The Tool song goes like this:

Forsaken's "poetry" times infinity.
[n/a] wilco › Shuushin 5-May-04/12:08 PM Reply
Undertow and Opiate are Excellent, Aenima? was ok and I never did buy Lateralus. The Eagles were good in their day but should have shot themselves before "Hell Freezes Over" and Bjork.....no.
[8] Shuushin › wilco 5-May-04/12:47 PM Reply
Then you are a fool, and your opinions on the matter are discarded.

I grow bored with you - you may let yourself out.
[n/a] wilco › Shuushin 5-May-04/1:57 PM Reply
eeaaasy killer.
[8] Shuushin › wilco 5-May-04/2:01 PM Reply
heheh - my Caesar complex kicking in again.
[7] deleted user 5-May-04/1:23 PM Reply
This poem expresses your feeling. As the arguement goes between this and presenting an enjoyable poem, I tend toward correctness and understandability, but I think this needs a lettle help in the prose dept. Good feelings like these are worthy of a little more care on the presentation. For what it's worth.
[n/a] wilco › deleted user 5-May-04/2:03 PM Reply
I know what you're saying but please see the above (and ongoing) exchange between Shuushin and myself.
[10] SupremeDreamer 8-May-04/5:59 AM Reply
Change:
"only how to steal break my heart."
To:
"only how to steal & break my heart."

Other than that, its fuckin groovy and sparks my fire-
Blessed with ten. Good work.
[n/a] wilco › SupremeDreamer 8-May-04/8:57 AM Reply
I didn't even notice that, thanks.
[0] Edna Sweetlove 23-Jun-07/4:29 PM Reply
A bit technical. Basically I haven't the first fucking idea what you are talking about. Cubs? Sputtered? 1-40? Talk about provincial.......................