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my hunger has become a hunger for revenge (Free verse) by nentwined
My hunger has become a hunger for revenge; when I got to KFC, I saw you fucking him. I wanted homestyle gravy on my mashed potatoes and fried chicken and barbecue baked beans-- I was buying enough for two while you were out at soccer practice but you were screwing Lou in a beat up Honda Civic (I mean, come on, that car ain't even American, folks!) My hunger has become a hunger for revenge; when I left for KFC, I ain't a notion how things would end. My dumpling's plumb been plucked, and by a lesser man, and my stomach's churning's churned around; I've got nothing but my plan. I'll smother them with gravy and I'll tenderize their meat, I'll roast them a hard-shelled Honda Civic treat (and sprinkle it with the colonel's eleven herbs and spices) My hunger has become a hunger for revenge; and after I cook this meal, I'll never et again. when I leave the parking lot, the blaze's big and true, and your screaming, trapped within that car, kept me glad I'm rid of you My stomach's somewhat quiet, now, and maybe settled out, but I'm done with KFC, now I'm gonna order out (maybe get me some of them chink noodle dishes, try something new) (hey, a guy can change his mind here, can't he? it's a free country!) (god bless america! thank you, and good night!)

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.25
Weighted score: 6.9817934
Overall Rank: 110
Posted: December 2, 2003 10:42 PM PST; Last modified: December 2, 2003 10:42 PM PST
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Comments:
[10] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.116.54 | 2-Dec-03/11:21 PM | Reply
Simply the best.
[5] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 | 3-Dec-03/11:10 AM | Reply
It's ok. I don't know...I just don't like it.
[n/a] nentwined @ 66.92.28.14 > J.B. Manning | 3-Dec-03/12:16 PM | Reply
Then I think I accomplished what I was going for. :)
[5] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 > nentwined | 3-Dec-03/2:10 PM | Reply
which was?
[n/a] nentwined @ 76.167.62.172 > J.B. Manning | 15-Feb-07/6:56 PM | Reply
It was supposed to be bad.

But yeah, it was supposed to be bad in a likeable way.

My bad?
[7] richa @ 81.178.255.97 | 3-Dec-03/12:24 PM | Reply
'Hmmm I need some inspiration/ want to write a poem/ feeling a bit hungry/ heh hungry for revenge/heh heh heh.'

[8] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 3-Dec-03/12:40 PM | Reply
and they'll have fun fun fun 'til her daddy burns her honda away....
[9] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.51 | 3-Dec-03/1:33 PM | Reply
this is good [smiling, slowly backs toward door]

"My dumpling's plumb been plucked, and by a lesser man," - an excellent line.
[7] LilMsLadyPoet @ 152.163.100.135 | 11-Jul-05/9:10 AM | Reply
LMAO...funny little piece...needs some cleaning up though...May I offer you a napkin? A period here or there, a capital here and there...but a fun read.
[n/a] nentwined @ 76.167.62.172 > LilMsLadyPoet | 15-Feb-07/6:57 PM | Reply
I'm open to some cleaning up, but I sure do like my semicolons and my appositives and my parentheticals. :)
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