poemranker ::Jesus, I funneled enough beer to marry that? by Bachus

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Lyric № 102484

Jesus, I funneled enough beer to marry that?

by Bachus

Member since 2002 · Posted 18 May 2004 · 10 comments

With a case of Pabst, and a rhinestone dress She pawned the microwave 400 lbs. of Washington woman Masturbating to Audio slave. She collects shoe horns, and puppy plates and worships Riki Lake Has a back tattoo of a swinging bridge In a 10.5 earthquake. Oh Jesus why did I wear my ten gallon hat to the beer garden at the tractor pull that day I don't mean to be a heretic, but this woman's made me gay. Oh Lord if I could find another chair for her to sit When it was time for her weekly bath People wouldn't show up with cardboard signs saying "Please wash Shamu's ass" Her teeth are falling out from snorting speed and hooking at the truck stop I just can't believe I got drunk enough to marry this six foot drop. Yes, I'm comparing her pussy to a grave It's what I do to vent Since the bitch lost our house, and we've been living in this tent. Oh Jesus why did I wear my ten gallon hat to the beer garden at the tractor pull that day I don't mean to be a heretic, but this woman's made me gay.

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10 comments

[9] SupremeDreamer 19-May-04/12:30 AM Reply
Now thats fucking funny. Hope to hear it soon. Blessed with nine.
[9] zodiac 19-May-04/1:45 PM Reply
Since you're in CA, I'm sure "Washington woman" means she's from the state of Washington. I've always heard other West Coasters consider Washingtonians the toothless rednecks of the West. Is that true?

I'm especially interested because I'm from Seattle and I was horrified at how quickly my parents turned into typical Southern white trash when they moved to North Carolina.
[5] Sasha › zodiac 19-May-04/8:13 PM Reply
But you moved to north carolina. Or was that just your IP.
[9] zodiac › Sasha 19-May-04/8:47 PM Reply
Yes. I mean, we moved to NC. I've lived here roughly since Lollapalooza was cool and, yes, it is as toothless and ign'r'nt as you've heard. I seriously haven't worn shoes for the last two days.

Incidentally, I just found out my wife and I are moving to Jordan in July. I hear the place is buggy with Islams.
[5] Sasha › zodiac 19-May-04/8:52 PM Reply
Have fun with that then. Send me a postcard- preferably one without corpses if you can find one.
[8] Blindpoetry 19-May-04/7:35 PM Reply
your talking about the band, Audioslave, correct?
I believe that is one word... 'Audioslave'...
[0] Doug 15-Sep-04/12:29 PM Reply
You are muddled and dull.
[0] unnesessary 15-Sep-04/1:39 PM Reply
Pure shit.
[0] deleted user 17-Sep-04/6:56 PM Reply
No you're just gay!
And very untalented.
[4] blindwriter 28-Nov-04/2:37 AM Reply
that's a bit talented.
it's still freaking disgusting.
attempt something clean, please.
it's much easier to write freak-of-nature poetry than it is ordinary poetry...
it cuts half of the vocabulary out when you can't use perverted language.