| Re: Timmy Christ didn't like Dr. Seuss by Y2kSlamPoet |
9-Oct-03/7:04 AM |
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i don't get why this is so funny.
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| Re: a comment on Life on the Sidewalk (with superfluous vulgarisms) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? |
7-Oct-03/4:15 PM |
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geez, you guys make me feel so stoopit. they told me 88 would get me into collidge. they lied. basterdz!!!!10!!!!
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| Re: Shoe Hole by Bobjim |
7-Oct-03/12:54 PM |
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1-4 rock. 5 sucks. that is all.
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| Re: Orchidess by abecedarian |
7-Oct-03/9:20 AM |
overall pleasing in its malefic intent.
my opinions, if you will permit me to suggest a few tweaks:
spiral implies 'around', so,
'Twist a whimsied spiral down' would suffice.
also, 'The hanging of a garden abounding with allure'
is a clumsy phrase. make it leaner.
[alluring and abundant, a hanging garden...or something]
'watch we' --tricksy inversion prickles me.
'It itself did engage'--again, a little awkward
'gametic knife'--the heart of the poem, succintly captured. bravo.
good work.
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| Re: Why You All Suck by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? |
7-Oct-03/8:39 AM |
actually, some here suck for the financial gain.
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| Re: The Wrath of Dan Ackroyd by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? |
6-Oct-03/5:02 PM |
you forgot to smite the unworthy.
boo. hiss.
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| Re: a comment on Dress rehearsal by INTRANSIT |
6-Oct-03/1:48 PM |
way to go cowboy.
ignore me.
i suck today.
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| Re: Dress rehearsal by INTRANSIT |
6-Oct-03/1:37 PM |
syntax can be important, you know.
amusing rhymes. but no vote.
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| Re: BlackBird (Howl and Flatulence) by DreamerSupreme |
6-Oct-03/8:28 AM |
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you have something nice going here, but i think you need to decide whether you are addressing the audience directly, or speaking to us only in asides. If you're talking to us, lose the parentheticals, i say.
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| Re: My love for Katie by Stephen Robins |
6-Oct-03/8:16 AM |
bravo!!!
where is dear katie?
have you got her in a false-closet with a non-functioning toilet? again?
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| Re: Trapped in a horseshoe by INTRANSIT |
6-Oct-03/7:57 AM |
"Friendly on tap
just for a little while."
not sure this works where you have it
also, typo:
She works wothout seam!!
smooth it out, rich. it's got po-10-shall
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| Re: Behind the veil by INTRANSIT |
6-Oct-03/7:50 AM |
"Lo, had the blankest of cold stares"
huh?
lo--how are you using this?
it generally means 'look at that' or 'over there, look!'
also, use a comma or a colon instead of ellipsis, and fix the apostrophe: Ireland's
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| Re: Squeeze it out... by mrpresident |
6-Oct-03/7:44 AM |
the poor hard-working sphincter gets no credit, as usual.
shame! shame on you, mrpresident!
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| Re: a comment on Dark Angel. Mature? or foul? by Don-Quixote |
5-Oct-03/12:52 AM |
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if only you *would* go kamikaze, the vast majority would get some relief from these inane ramblings.
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| Re: a comment on Escape is an Unaffordable luxury by Freethinker1602 |
28-Sep-03/8:19 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Ctrl freak (Alt+ version) by <~> |
26-Sep-03/3:30 PM |
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| Re: Ode to the Renesis by INTRANSIT |
26-Sep-03/12:55 PM |
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| Re: Wasted Words by ho_hum |
26-Sep-03/7:10 AM |
you, sir, have wasted your commas, as well.
but you turned a nice trick with the similie.
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| Re: Pauling in Disguise (Ignorance and Arrogance) by Geschäftsreise |
25-Sep-03/7:21 PM |
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| Re: (fragment) by razorgrin |
25-Sep-03/6:57 PM |
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wound copper. tricksy, he is. he watches us, yess, he does.
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