Re: >~{In the Shadow of a Crooked Ceiling}~< by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	25-Sep-03/6:52 PM
bravo! it is refreshing to see that some of the rankers are making use of the more modern conventions. a fine prose-pome indeed, sirrah! -2 for cerical (sic) errors.
Re: Inner-city parish by richa	18-Sep-03/8:53 AM
nice job.
Re: a comment on Mentor by <~>	17-Sep-03/12:19 AM
what it means here is that the items that follow pertain to / contrast with the item on the line above--the particular qualities of a 'listener'. sort of an outline, or a list. i do not know what they mean when some others use them, but when i use an indent, i use it as a visual clue: hey reader--look this stuff is about the thing it hangs off of. actually, it is up on another site without the indents, because i misformatted it, and decided to leave it. i think it is subtly different. i also think that the way it appears above is more appropriate to my meaning, oh mysterious one.
Re: naive gazer by richa	16-Sep-03/11:58 AM
richa!! give me verb, oh please, oh please: "And if he should swap his stars with words, his eyes for a mouth as pale as a painted stage-prop lantern."
Re: a comment on End of year poem by <~>	16-Sep-03/9:28 AM
thankee. better, stronger, faster, now.
Re: The Killing Festival Anthem by William Delacroix	15-Sep-03/11:23 AM
my NEH-EH-AME is z, and this ain't me.
Re: a comment on Plastic is Forever by http://mulberryfairy	15-Sep-03/10:59 AM
very. and plastcized, is a word, per dictionary.com: plas·ti·cize ( P ) Pronunciation Key (plst-sz) tr. & intr.v. plas·ti·cized, plas·ti·ciz·ing, plas·ti·ciz·es To make or become plastic
Re: a comment on canto di desiderio by Bill Z Bub	9-Sep-03/11:53 AM
vous touchez mon coeur, doucement, maintenant.
Re: canto di desiderio by Bill Z Bub	8-Sep-03/10:17 PM
ah, bill! i wish i could hear you speak this.
Re: a comment on An Offering to the Deity that is Me by razorgrin	8-Sep-03/8:06 PM
god, how i have missed your wit. welcome home, razor. --the poet formerly known as z.
Re: a comment on A Question of the Future by razorgrin	8-Sep-03/8:05 PM
oh grow up. if she really wanted to piss you off, she would have left you a fucking 5, like i just did.
Re: a comment on Vest by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	6-Sep-03/9:01 PM
is this grandfather? is this poem about grandfather's vest????
Re: a comment on Why by J.B. Manning	6-Sep-03/9:00 PM
joe--watch your mouth. nobody deserves that. nobody.
Re: missing time (revised) by Bill Z Bub	6-Sep-03/8:47 PM
honed.
Re: Alien Abduction by LuckyJoe	4-Sep-03/9:28 AM
this could be half, and more effectively so.
Re: R.O.X. by InvertedEar	4-Sep-03/9:22 AM
do you want a comma in s4, after beneath? nice job, here.
Re: Bury Me at Dead Man's Point by EAger to Offend	4-Sep-03/9:21 AM
cool.
Re: none by tadpole	4-Sep-03/9:09 AM
this is only an intro. and richa is right--it is devoid of any specifics, any individuality.
Re: The Last Day Of Christ by Mr Pig	4-Sep-03/9:03 AM
all right pig. first, it's a good idea. i agree that you don't need baptized--that was john's gig anyway. no apos. in pilums, please, and the spelling you were looking for is "chalice" not: chal·lis - n. A soft, lightweight, usually printed fabric made of wool, cotton, or rayon. i think you also meant 'covering' not coveting. christ was never a coveter. i don't think that the 'consumed by judas' line is working. the way you have the hammer blows is awkward. hammers strike blows, but only the wind and your favorite girlfriend actually 'blow'. also, there were be no dew, at noon, the traditional hour of crucifixion. carpentr dying on wood--very nice. uttering his final words to the four winds--very pagan notion. did you mean it to be so? heaven and earth would be more of a christian reference. judas belches from consumption? TB? resurrection is generally associated with dawn, not sunset, and i think you will need to work this line a little harder to convince me that you meant the irony. whew. all in all, lots of good ideas that don't dive into cliche. just needs a tune up. no vote until then, pig.
Re: Curiously here by philthegreek	4-Sep-03/8:41 AM
this has a nice start, but ye gods! all the extra words! can glean away some of the little words, to make it cut with a sharper edge? and, the ending feels like a bit of a cop-out after that details you gave at first. this has a lot of potential, especially since you have grasped the idea that specific details make a poem real.