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Mentor (Free verse) by <~>
I have such a time, reconciling you. You don't look like a listener- almost within reach, you never stop at the skin of a word but ride that instinct through my veins. There go my knees again.

Down the ladder: mistaken in a glance

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 8.0
Weighted score: 5.806824
Overall Rank: 1658
Posted: September 16, 2003 11:53 AM PDT; Last modified: September 16, 2003 11:53 AM PDT
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Comments:
[6] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.74 | 16-Sep-03/4:25 PM | Reply
What does it actually mean when people indent the text and stuff in places where you wouldn't expect, and put carriage returns in inappropriate places? This isn't the most extreme example, I'm sure, but I don't understand how this poem would be any different from one which had the same words in it but had all the lines starting at the same horizontal position.
[n/a] <~> @ 64.252.49.184 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 17-Sep-03/12:19 AM | Reply
what it means here is that the items that follow pertain to / contrast with the item on the line above--the particular qualities of a 'listener'. sort of an outline, or a list.

i do not know what they mean when some others use them, but when i use an indent, i use it as a visual clue: hey reader--look this stuff is about the thing it hangs off of.

actually, it is up on another site without the indents, because i misformatted it, and decided to leave it. i think it is subtly different. i also think that the way it appears above is more appropriate to my meaning, oh mysterious one.

[6] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.66 > <~> | 17-Sep-03/9:06 AM | Reply
Very well. I have continued my investigation into this strange phenomenon with "Thetis (fragments)" by someone called Titingales, or something.
[n/a] deleted user @ 64.63.203.103 > <~> | 17-Sep-03/7:39 PM | Reply
I put carriage returns in all the wrong places because I hate the reader.
[9] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.145.48 | 16-Sep-03/4:32 PM | Reply
I loved these images,
"you never stop at the skin of a word
but ride that instinct through my veins." beautiful

[10] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 16-Sep-03/5:03 PM | Reply
Well written and a good bite of juicy beef and gypsy caravan camp fire love. 10.
[10] Bill Z Bub @ 24.43.48.67 | 16-Sep-03/8:49 PM | Reply
I'm trying hard to be impartial... probably not possible. Ten.
[n/a] Geschäftsreise @ 4.40.32.229 | 16-Sep-03/9:27 PM | Reply
Makes me wish there was someone I felt that way about. My life is all sunbathers and surfers - no one is up for volleyball when it gets hot.
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