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Alien Abduction (Free verse) by LuckyJoe
Walk forth to the glow of fires light, Stumble dazed with amazement, Feet scuffle gravel clumsily, Captivated, the light luring in, Closer now worry starts running in mind, Petrified with fear, Scream deaf tones, Run, moving quick as stone. Beamed aboard… Welcomed by lasers, Violated by probes, Inside the alien ship, Traveling the heavens like paved roads.

Up the ladder: A Choice Offense
Down the ladder: St. Andrews

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7678
Posted: September 3, 2003 5:10 PM PDT; Last modified: September 3, 2003 5:10 PM PDT
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Comments:
[5] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 4-Sep-03/9:28 AM | Reply
this could be half, and more effectively so.
[n/a] LuckyJoe @ 216.248.118.215 > <~> | 5-Sep-03/8:06 AM | Reply
How would you suggest?

To me I could change change the title and end it after "Run, moving quick as stone." line. Or you could leave the title the same and just leave a lot unsaid for the reader to decide.

Can't wait to see what you were thinking.
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