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The Wrath of Dan Ackroyd (Sonnet) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
Bow down Mortals, I have dominion! For when my mighty gavel, Doth plunge down upon the sonorous surface of vengance, And thunders forth its unquestionable verdict, None shall be spared, Who have incurred my displeasure, Or disgraced themselves before my celestial judgement. Kings shall stumble beside paupers, Barons alongside whores, There is no end to my irascibility, Nor numerical limit to the count of my vexations, Even the very mountains will tremble in my presence, Whilst the ocean itself doth relent to do my bidding, And the vestal sisters of the cloth, Shall have their untouched innocence stricken from their loins. Temper hath no meaning, In proportion to my unfathomable violence, As neither hath fury, When reckoned against my hatred, And when these things, In their loathsome entirity, Are visited upon my foes, Then living man shall beg for Hell's kind sanctuary. Hear these words and know, That I am Ackroyd.

Up the ladder: War
Down the ladder: Nina Simone (part one)

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.8125
Weighted score: 6.5964446
Overall Rank: 610
Posted: October 6, 2003 4:21 PM PDT; Last modified: October 6, 2003 4:21 PM PDT
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-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.

Comments:
[7] Don-Quixote @ 204.31.170.8 | 6-Oct-03/4:28 PM | Reply
So, on judgement day you shall deliver unto us a punchline?

shucks, all that puffin to say that? waste of wind sir, now my funny bones quiver.

heres a 7.
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 163.1.235.200 > Don-Quixote | 6-Oct-03/4:35 PM | Reply
Idiot. I was using Dan Ackroyd as a metaphor for John Candy.
[7] Don-Quixote @ 204.31.170.8 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 6-Oct-03/4:47 PM | Reply
Ah..

Well that doesnt make much of a change now does it!- toodles.

[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.128.131.106 > Don-Quixote | 7-Oct-03/6:04 AM | Reply
you are the master of not getting it
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.175.60 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 7-Oct-03/11:48 PM | Reply
Im liable to miss the point at times, im not blessed with perfection.

BUT YOU ARE! Could you perfect me? Tame the evil?

heh.
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.47 > SupremeDreamer | 8-Oct-03/4:09 AM | Reply
The point is that anyone with an ounce of sense would have chosen Chevy Chase as a metaphor for John Candy. That's why choosing Dan Ackroyd is an inherently funny thing to do.
[n/a] Y2kSlamPoet @ 204.31.165.139 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 8-Oct-03/4:30 AM | Reply
-shrug-. They're all comedians.

The humor of it escapes me.

And i think the metaphor bit is hogwash.
[n/a] Everyone @ 163.1.146.87 > Y2kSlamPoet | 9-Dec-03/10:15 AM | Reply
"i think the metaphor bit is hogwash" hahahahahahahaha
[n/a] <~> @ 69.0.54.52 | 6-Oct-03/5:02 PM | Reply
you forgot to smite the unworthy.
boo. hiss.
[7] sliver @ 63.190.65.98 | 7-Oct-03/7:23 AM | Reply
A few bible quotes twisted around a metaphore for John Candy? Hmmmm let me think. Ouch that hurts, I'll just give you a 7 and go take some asprin.
[n/a] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.53 | 7-Oct-03/1:53 PM | Reply
Hey - what kind of sonnet is this? You is funnin' me, right?? Is this why you are called "mysterious"?

Teach me something.
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 163.1.234.241 > Shuushin | 7-Oct-03/4:47 PM | Reply
A wise man once said, "poems are for gaylords".
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