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Life on the Sidewalk (with superfluous vulgarisms) (Sonnet) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
Life hurts, Son, My mother advised me, In between puffs on her crack pipe, Life really fucking hurts. I thought my girlfriend understood me, But shit no! She was just another fucking ho, Vending cunt down some scum-ridden bar. In sex there's no fulfilment, The stinking beads of sweat, Running down my erect cock, Provide no anaesthesia. This city is like a weeping sore, It eats away at my very sole, Day after fucking day, Relentless despair is my burden. Last year, my best bud was mown down, In a pointless fucking drive-by, I held up a liquor store to get even, Shit, that's just the way things are around here. I guide the needle in, For a while it will numb my senses, Leaving me oblivious to the torment, Of my shitty everyday life. Fuck it! No one sees the pain inside.

Up the ladder: Lover's Portrait
Down the ladder: the coldest hell

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 20
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.6153846
Weighted score: 4.7188234
Overall Rank: 11936
Posted: September 28, 2003 4:46 PM PDT; Last modified: September 28, 2003 4:46 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] grendal @ 24.126.113.154 | 28-Sep-03/9:40 PM | Reply
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK you fist fuck ur loose ass you sniffling bitch.
go get some clusure from princess diana who gives a fuck.
you cunt from down the street wanting a free ride.
bitch wore cry to ur fatha.
NIGLET BITCH.
your poems
SUCK
SUCK
SUCK
harder then you do.
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.74 > grendal | 29-Sep-03/5:49 AM | Reply
Try living my life for a while before you judge me so harshly.
[0] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 > grendal | 7-Oct-03/3:15 PM | Reply
Grendal - Do you really think using racially derogatory terms makes your insults more substantial? I'm afraid it only reflects your own inability to form a concise insult. Really, please discontinue your degradation of the white population, with verbal attacks against the black population. I'm tired of cleaning up for messes like yourself. It's really getting old.

BTW - clusure, is spelled closure and it appears that dispite your perspective of our friend here, he can at least spell. So honor us that much before you attack someone else.


[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 | 29-Sep-03/12:58 AM | Reply
The raw emotion that forms the very core of this poem is one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. 10.
[2] Joe-joe @ 170.28.4.4 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 29-Sep-03/3:53 AM | Reply
Superfluous vulgarism's aside.......oh no not you again!! -2-
[2] Joe-joe @ 170.28.4.4 > Joe-joe | 29-Sep-03/3:58 AM | Reply
Banal, trite, prosaic, pedestrian, colorless, humdrum..etc....
Just another story bout a poor boy in the hood. arrr!!! think I'll take a nap.
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.74 > Joe-joe | 29-Sep-03/5:48 AM | Reply
Once, when I was about 12, me and my friend (the one who got killed in a drive-by) broke into a skag warehouse just off the M4. We did the whole lot right there and then. Boy, was that a real bad idea! I ODed and had to be rushed to hospital. My mum went fucking ape-shit. She told me I wasn't welcome at home any more and stormed away in tears.
Then the doctor came in. He said he was tired of treating little punks like me and threw me out the back door along with the medical waste. I wandered the streets for a long time. I was really fucking freezing cold; it was snowing and I was still wearing my backless hospital gown. Eventually I found this homeless shelter. There was this guy dressed as santa clause, with a real crumby fake beard. He was a real phoney. He was giving out presents and cups of lettuce soup to homeless kids, so I went up to see him. But then I just puked up in his face, I didn't mean to, I swear to god, but I did. He hauled me out onto the street and started to kick my fucking face in. I looked up at him pleadingly, his santa's beard dripping with puke and all. Then he took a real heavy present and lobbed it at my head. It took a couple of teeth out. I pushed myself up from the freezing slush, and opened the parcel. It was a Corby trouser press.
[2] Joe-joe @ 170.28.4.4 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 29-Sep-03/6:51 AM | Reply
Now you're talking....-10-
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.128.213.139 > Joe-joe | 29-Sep-03/7:23 AM | Reply
Got any more whacked up drug anecdotes you'd care to share with us, Mr Joe-joe?
[2] Joe-joe @ 68.194.57.229 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 29-Sep-03/12:34 PM | Reply
Got a million of em...but before a share another tell me first... is there a serious bone in that old creeking body of yours?
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.128.213.139 > Joe-joe | 29-Sep-03/1:01 PM | Reply
Shit man I'll let you be the judge of that when I tell you I'm the coolest cat this side of crazy town. Been up to my ears in the shit and the hipsters didn't even know what hit 'em. Got a real bad rep for being a loose cannon - the shits don't mess with me 'cos they don't want to be cacked up in nappy of their own shit after messing with my shit for more than a couple of minutes! You gotta problem downtown - I'm your man. I've been around the block, and then, after I did that, I went around the next block and got totally spazzed up on some gear I found smeared on the underside of a discarded potato. You want results? I can get ya results. But when the shit goes down and the stakes go up, then there ain't a cat alive who'd point to a pile of shit on the cobbles of easy street and say "I did that, buddy"
[2] Joe-joe @ 68.194.57.229 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 29-Sep-03/3:31 PM | Reply
You must be that bad ass mother fucker I wrote about a couple of weeks age. Yo home-boy wahe you bin? Me and you could run this joint. Two bad mother fuckers with an additude to boot! Shit, we cuold fuck all the hoe's down on 125 street. Know what I'm sayin. We kick back get some crank..know what I'm sayin? Homey, you just stick with me...latch on...I'ma make it all happen. And dem white boys, we be kicin dey ass..takin dey hoe's back to the hood. Cookin up they ass and lighin up they pussy's.. So meet me down by dat fucking Korean Bakery on Martin Luther King Blvd. 8PM sharp! You with me mother-fucker? Oh one last thing home-boy..when you come down here in my neck of da woods..don't be sayin shit like ""Nappy" and "hipsters"..home boys up here will tear your shit apart dey here you rap like dat. Later.
[2] Joe-joe @ 68.194.57.229 > Joe-joe | 29-Sep-03/3:36 PM | Reply
Yo Angel,
You really are the funniest mother fucker on this site! I'd love to have a stout with you and shoot the shit! Dat wouldn't be a sin would it?
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.74 > Joe-joe | 29-Sep-03/3:45 PM | Reply
Baddafuckup.
[2] Joe-joe @ 68.194.57.229 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 29-Sep-03/4:06 PM | Reply
Yo Dave,

Chill out! You obviously from the berbs! Can't rap with me and Darky, we genuine hoods...know what I'm sayin? Just cause you roamin round the mall with yo pants down to yo knees and yo hat tilted like a homey don't mean you can play dat shit wit us bad ass mother fuckers. You playin wit fire white-boy. Got my back Darky?
[2] Joe-joe @ 170.28.4.4 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 29-Sep-03/4:00 AM | Reply
There you go joshing us all again. You sir do not exist! You are but a background Ranker program, triggered during a lull in action. That I'm sure of!! you old nested loop!!
[8] Caducus @ 62.105.119.105 | 29-Sep-03/9:20 AM | Reply
Loved the opening.
It reminded me of a pimple rap rant. Thanks for cheering me up on this miserable monday. 8
[0] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 | 29-Sep-03/5:03 PM | Reply
"last year, my best bud was mown down," were they driving by on a John Dear?
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.70 > J.B. Manning | 30-Sep-03/4:27 PM | Reply
It was a Cadillac Coupe Deville.
[0] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 2-Oct-03/11:56 AM | Reply
With a John Deer attachment for mowing down best buds?

Yaaaaaawn. Oh not another drive by?!

You should add a note that reads; "I want you all to know that I thought long and hard about what I was going to say in this poem and not having any real ability to communicate without my penis in my hand, I had to think up some over played excuse of sentiment in the hopes that someone might like my po-ems." while holding your little wee wee so you don't wet yourself from the excitement of it all.
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 163.1.234.241 > J.B. Manning | 6-Oct-03/5:10 AM | Reply
I am about 5000 times more articulate than you. Quite what my penis, which you seem to have developed some fascination with, has to do with my skill at poetry, I'm not really sure. And it was a '57 Coupe Deville. With a Corby trouser press attachment.
[0] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 6-Oct-03/10:55 AM | Reply
uh huh, riiiight. Give us some more of your ghetto suffering poetry. We haven't heard enough yet. Come on ?-Dickless_Mystery-?
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 163.1.235.200 > J.B. Manning | 6-Oct-03/4:40 PM | Reply
Look, despite my upbringing on the bad side of town, I have an IQ of almost 109. I think it's time you stopped trying to wrestle with the intellectual giants.
[0] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 7-Oct-03/3:10 PM | Reply
109? Haha. I have a 113 and I grew up in the trailer park next to your bad side of town, so I could care less where you're from. The only thing giant about you is your head and you're the one who started shit with me dickless_mystery. It's not my fault you can't stop licking the tip of my poetic dick and calling it criticism. Try being polite from time to time and see how much further that takes you, instead of acting like some freaking snob from cherry tree park. If you have an opinion about my work, that's one thing, but if you think I'm going to sit back and let you rudely insult me out of spite for your own self pity, you can forget it. I came to this site to share my poetry with other poets and other than Darky, I attacked no one first. I don't appreciate you or any of these other pompous pricks thinking they can just push around the little guy. So you think I'm backing down just because you THINK you're smarter than me, you can forget it! -- OOPs, I'm sorry, is this paragraph to, "Massive," for you? Maybe you should stick to reading Dr. Seuss and I'll leave you alone. Btw, do you feel better about yourself every time you insult someone else? Sure sign of insecurity, if you ask me. It's ok though, I understand. As long as you feel better.






[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.47 > J.B. Manning | 7-Oct-03/3:54 PM | Reply
My childhood was far from idyllic, yet there is nothing wrong with my IQ - it's just a shade under 98 which is well within the normal range. I've worked hard despite the hardships I've faced, and I'm proud of the fact that while my upbringing may have been materially underprivileged, at least I had intellect and could entertain myself with my own creative thoughts and emotions. 113, you say? I had no idea you were so gifted. I look forward to more of your poetry.
[n/a] <~> @ 69.0.54.52 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 7-Oct-03/4:15 PM | Reply
geez, you guys make me feel so stoopit. they told me 88 would get me into collidge. they lied. basterdz!!!!10!!!!
[0] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 7-Oct-03/4:57 PM | Reply
My IQ is not a measure of my experience, meaning that I'm certain that you Dark_Angel have had many more years to hone your intellect than I. I have not doubt that in the years to come, my own shall be as sharp as yours.
[0] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 > J.B. Manning | 7-Oct-03/5:02 PM | Reply
and really dickless_mystery, you bore me. At least Dark_Angel was creative in his wit.
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 163.1.234.241 > J.B. Manning | 7-Oct-03/5:13 PM | Reply
-=Dark_Angel=- gets his poems out of fortune cookies.
[0] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 8-Oct-03/12:17 PM | Reply
haha, now that's creative.
I'm ashamed to admit it, but it's true. Just have a look at this felched-up bumstain:

"AIDS The Wonderhorse" (Limerick) by -=Dark_Angel=-

There once was some AIDS in a [fortune] cookie
That was sold by a dunce to a bookie
For the fool had not seen
Where the virus had been
So he peddled it off like a rookie!
[0] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 8-Oct-03/12:21 PM | Reply
Well Dark, you'll have to wait, only a short while. All the poetry I have posted at present were writing a year or two ago. I'm still developing a new style and I'd like to perform it on stage prior to posting. You'll be the first to know.
[0] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 > J.B. Manning | 9-Oct-03/10:29 AM | Reply
Gawd, what a terribly constructed sentence that was...lol...zzzzzzzzzz
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 163.1.234.241 > J.B. Manning | 10-Oct-03/5:14 PM | Reply
Ah ha! I tricked you all along! My IQ is really 114!!!!!
[0] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 16-Oct-03/3:43 PM | Reply
ok, Dave I have to admit, you were annoying at first, but now even if you're trying to be mean, you are rather amusing.
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 163.1.234.241 > J.B. Manning | 7-Oct-03/4:52 PM | Reply
"I came to this site to share my poetry with other poets"

That's the funniest thing I've eggver heard.
[7] zixxee @ 209.214.140.46 | 30-Sep-03/2:55 PM | Reply
i actually liked this...im gonna check out the rest of ur stuff..
[n/a] Sasha @ 69.140.246.96 | 14-Apr-04/7:28 PM | Reply
Not a sonnet
[n/a] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 > Sasha | 14-Apr-04/7:37 PM | Reply
yep. Gonna agree with you on this ONE.

You aren't making a wonderful first impression...
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