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Lover's Portrait (Free verse) by Dancer
I will paint your portrait Your face will be sad no sparkle in your eyes no smile in your frown And your body will be all twisted Your hands will be green the color of your skin will be grey like its been beaten I will show your dark heart like the portrait of Jesus but your picture will look hurt you are of course cause you finally realize how I feel how you made me feel when our love is gone


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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.6153846
Weighted score: 4.7188234
Overall Rank: 11940
Posted: March 17, 2003 6:34 AM PST; Last modified: March 17, 2003 6:34 AM PST
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Comments:
[5] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.213.23 | 17-Mar-03/6:42 AM | Reply
It's 'it's'.

It's 'Jesu'.

It's a pile of toss.
[6] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 17-Mar-03/6:49 AM | Reply
its not that bad, but it could be better the end is teen magazine style
[7] deleted user @ 130.111.0.42 | 17-Mar-03/9:45 AM | Reply
u can make this better
[7] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 18-Mar-03/1:42 AM | Reply
God is was goods then in you chokie doo de in the hiccup.. last chirp pardon me. 7.i
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