DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Timmy Christ didn't like Dr. Seuss

Member since 2003 · Posted 8 Oct 2003 · 9 comments

Today was special- Jesus's grandson was hung from the monkey bars, staples encircling his brow. The children danced around him. Janice caught his blood in barbies teacup and each had a taste of divinity. Schoolyard singing drifted- a childs ditty: Timmy Christ swings on a noose He prayed before eating raisins Told the teacher he didn't like Dr. Seuss Said that he could erase our sins Warned us that satan was loose We killed the last lamb today Every child here hated him Timmy Christ is on display Blood is sweet from lambs limb Timmy Christ lived in the old abbey At lunch he drank holy water Swore he could walk across the sea He always slept on the altar All the kids said he was a looney We killed Timmy with glee First we thrashed him in the bathroom Then the teacher gave us all a smiley For sending Timmy to his doom They sung until story time and left him swinging, laughing about the schoolyard killing and the urine dripping from little Timmy's shorts. Indeed, it was very special today the day children killed Jesus's great grandson.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 4.57 weighted 4.88 rank 9922 views 271 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

9 comments

[0] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 9-Oct-03/2:00 AM Reply

Ace use of "smiley" to rhyme with "glee" and "looney" to rhyme with "sea"!!!111

[2] <~> 9-Oct-03/7:04 AM Reply

i don't get why this is so funny.

[n/a] ==Doylum › <~> 9-Oct-03/8:47 AM Reply

Have you gone completely mad. This is quite superlative.

He prayed before eating raisins!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
At lunch he drank holy water!!!!!!!!!! holy water for good christs sake woman. Can't you see it!!!!!!!!

see even Y2kSlamPoet loves it - and each time i reread it, i laugh even harder.
He laughs EVEN HARDER
Now do you see?????/////Aye?

[2] <~> › ==Doylum 9-Oct-03/9:01 AM Reply

for me, it reads like a blow to the head with a wet text-book. and believe me, i know PLENTY about that!!!

[0] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › <~> 9-Oct-03/9:24 AM Reply

The funniest thing about this poeme is SupremeDreamer's laughable attempt at making it rhyme. I eagerly await his next, even riper offering which, I might add, is rumored to not only rhyme, but also vaguely scan!!!!111

[n/a] SupremeDreamer › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 9-Oct-03/9:29 PM Reply

darkie, your my most fawowite pal!

[n/a] SupremeDreamer › <~> 9-Oct-03/9:31 PM Reply

oh well, cant make everyone laugh. -shrug-

[9] Bachus 9-Oct-03/9:30 AM Reply

"the day children killed Jesus's great grandson." I would drop this line altogether, and end at the line before it.

[n/a] SupremeDreamer › Bachus 9-Oct-03/9:32 PM Reply

good call, edited my orig. copy.