Re: There is no end by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	1-Jan-21/12:11 PM
grammatical fix: its machine- should not have an apostrophe there. Maybe drop the first exclamation point. Two in a row are too much and actually lessens the impact. Nice!
Re: Night-mare by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	1-Jan-21/12:08 PM
I like the mystery and suggestion in this. I see her tears as maybe indicating she feels she is getting older, less lovely with the passage of time. (A window in time is closing).
Re: One liners for the ladies by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	1-Jan-21/12:07 PM
I enjoyed these! Honey works!
Re: Today by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	1-Jan-21/12:06 PM
Like how you "make the gloom" (I've gloomed) and it becomes a tangible thing in the room. Might be stronger if you use a different word to describe a darkening instead of gloomy in the first line.
Re: Crossing the Mojave by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	1-Jan-21/12:02 PM
Loved the rhythm of this. One jarring word: hobby, broke the vision and feel of the poem.
Re: Fueled hearts by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	1-Jan-21/12:00 PM
Sheets as a stand-in for streets did not work well for me-- Liked much of this!"Don't burden about crashing; burden doesn't fit well there- just use "worry" or some similar word, I would recommend. cute metaphor.
Re: Bleeding V2 by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	1-Jan-21/11:57 AM
Well said!
Re: Charlie by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	1-Jan-21/11:56 AM
Hi, Charlie (the goldfish?)!
Re: Panning for gold by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	1-Jan-21/11:55 AM
small grammar fix: its cage (no apostrophe)I love the last 6 lines, love "cree-yaw" for the bird screeching against being imprisoned.
Re: What am I doing? by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	1-Jan-21/11:52 AM
Wow. intense.
Re: Angels Struggle by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	1-Jan-21/11:50 AM
Some lovely lines. A few discordant ones: "His fear holds him dear", "needles poking forth" I'd remove the comma after "his circle of pain and joy". Also- I think it should be: Humanity's struggle i.e. the struggle of humanity. You capture strong emotion, passion; I see this as describing Jesus Christ or a Christ-like figure. Like the ending a lot.
Re: Vulgar peoples by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	1-Jan-21/11:45 AM
Yes, we send rocketships up into space... I don't see the connection between "vulgar peoples, rocketships, the passage of time, and with people gone, peace--leaving ashes and embers. I think it would help to make the connection more clear. Just because we send up rocketships we are vulgar? too unclear for me.
Re: A hard life by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	1-Jan-21/11:42 AM
liked your Eskimo and Fish poem much more, used many of the same lines and ideas.
Re: The lightest touch by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	1-Jan-21/11:40 AM
Could not picture what was flashing ruby fright. A cop car? Not clear enough to me, some nice imagery there.
Re: Rewrite of a goof poem. by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	1-Jan-21/11:39 AM
Sweet!
Re: Saline drip to the eye by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	1-Jan-21/11:38 AM
Really liked the second stanza, relates so beautifully to the title, creates an amazing picture of the diseased eye.
Re: The Eskimo and the fish by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	1-Jan-21/11:37 AM
one small spelling error: briefly Like the connection between auger (to drill the hole into the ice so he can fish, and the idea of AUGUR, soothsaying, and omens. Love how you show the Inuit in 2 worlds at once, the world of spirit and augury, and the physical world, and the connection between the 2. Suggest changing the title to The Inuit and the fish! Favorite lines: whiteness of time (double meaning); GREAT line: "small of fish bruised and burled. Love the last line with its double meaning: "who expect nothing more." Well done.
Re: What the runes said by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	1-Jan-21/10:59 AM
a few spelling errors, all minor: handful, rescind, water's I have a poem that happens to use some of the same imagery of the rocks! Kind of neat! I will post it. It is titled Gathering Stones. Please do look at it!
Re: A call to arms by INTRANSIT	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	1-Jan-21/10:54 AM
you meant: make them ask why (typo on them) Silly!
Re: Waking Up by Edna Sweetlove	Engelbert Humpalot 127.0.0.1	31-Dec-20/11:26 AM
A work of great genius! I have often shat on a bedmate in my excitement on discovering they had 2 anuses.