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The Eskimo and the fish

Member since 2002 · Posted 30 Dec 2002 · Edited 15 Feb 2003 · 15 comments

From the safety of a smoky dome He drags his life through the whiteness of time. To auger breifly into another world and sit fishing with intense interest. Peering into the water he chants: Ocean waters deep and cold what is said is what is told. I love my life from wife to land seems but paltry within my hand. The Inuit retrieves a spotted char Then slowly traces its teeth marked flesh He chants again: Small of fish bruised and burled I wish you well in your hasty world I asked the oceans deep and cold your harried life is what they showed. Then relinquishes it to its home. Again the empty line descends and quickly lands a heartier meal. The man bundles his tools and smiles at his catch and hurriedly returns to his family who expect nothing more.

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15 comments

[6] wOrnella Mutiw 30-Dec-02/3:41 PM Reply

I don't like this as much as your other stuff. I know I joke around with you a bit about being a truck driver, but I really do like your poems. This one though...it doesn't seem like you know what you're talking about....6

[n/a] INTRANSIT › wOrnella Mutiw 30-Dec-02/6:39 PM Reply

There's a story in a story here. Tell me what you see, please.
Thanks

[9] Bachus 30-Dec-02/3:43 PM Reply

purity at it's finest, almost too pure maybe..it needs a little more line, but barely.

[n/a] god'swife 30-Dec-02/8:03 PM Reply

I think the title is mis-leading, this has nothing to do with the relationship between the man and the fish. Find another title. Is this about being a provider, or is this about the freedoms of simplicity?

[n/a] INTRANSIT › god'swife 31-Dec-02/5:35 AM Reply

Freedoms of simplicity" is close. I'll work on another title,maybe. What else can you tell me from this ? Thank you Mrs G.

[8] blkarakagain 31-Dec-02/12:43 PM Reply

I really like the first stanza, very witty use of words. I'm probably not qualified to comment to much on the direction of the meaning or the choices you've made, but I enjoyed it, though somehow it seems to be missing something.

[8] blkarakagain 31-Dec-02/12:45 PM Reply

actually now that I look at it again, it's the second stanza, not the first, which I like so much,... the first is good, too, though. I'm such a 'wuss'.

[6] powerline 31-Dec-02/7:17 PM Reply

There is a lot more in this that needs to be brought out. You've come on the idea of man and his role with nature, as providor and as his own master. Lots to swallow, but somewhere in these is the essence of what you were after.

[n/a] INTRANSIT › powerline 1-Jan-03/8:22 AM Reply

I know, I know. I'm so frigging close it's killing me! Thanks.

[10] <{Baba^Yaga}> 20-Jan-03/11:19 AM Reply

Also, one of your best. Nice show man!.

[7] Mr Pig 12-Feb-03/8:16 AM Reply

your intro's are always your strongest asset, the last Stan seems rushed which is a shame for otherwise its a strong piece of lit....7

[n/a] INTRANSIT › Mr Pig 12-Feb-03/8:42 AM Reply

Good call Mr. P. Iwantedd the ttone to chhange but I see the tempo changed ttoo. When I have time,, as ususal. Thank you.

[9] deleted user 15-Feb-03/11:45 AM Reply

Clear image of a simpler, and perhaps better life. Thank you. Not to nitpick, but there is a misspelling in the second verse.

[7] <~> 4-Mar-03/1:43 PM Reply

hey, intransit.
some questions for you:
do inuits chant when fishing? does this scare the fish? because of these nagging thoughts, i have issues with the way you have changed the poem. you have taken something pritine and clear, and thrown sediment into it. the chant is too sentimental, i think. if spiritualistic contemplation is your aim, change "auger" back to "augur", and go from there.

your second chant changes him from automaton to thinker, which is not a bad shift, but, i think, shows too much intrusion of mind for a piece that focus on rote. it's a start of a shift, but not an entire shift.

okay, the thoughts came out full formed. trim them.

[9] Jill Stockinger 1-Jan-21/11:37 AM Reply

one small spelling error: briefly
Like the connection between auger (to drill the hole into the ice so he can fish, and the idea of AUGUR, soothsaying, and omens.
Love how you show the Inuit in 2 worlds at once, the world of spirit and augury, and the physical world, and the connection between the 2. Suggest changing the title to The Inuit and the fish! Favorite lines: whiteness of time (double meaning); GREAT line: "small of fish bruised and burled. Love the last line with its double meaning: "who expect nothing more." Well done.