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Angels Struggle (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer
Feathers flying In whirls, dancing Over air.. Falling from the angels Outstretched, bleeding wings.. His flesh hangs and tears And his voice of beauty Screams.. His dreams, become One total reality.. His circle of pain And joy, becomes connected And then goes beyond either.. His fear holds him dear, But his courage rages on, Moving torn muscle To struggle against steel Bars. The needles poking forth From his crown bite deep Into his flesh. The drops of blood Crawl across the strained Lines etched on his forehead. They collect and drop past the lines Into his eyes atlast, Blinding him. But his sight shall not fail. He will tear past the nails And drop knees first To the dusty earth. His hanging hair Shall arise with his eyes. With his teeth bared he Roars his rage. This is only the beginning Of a new glory.. Feel now, humanities Fury. -Angels Struggle

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.571429
Weighted score: 5.422622
Overall Rank: 3041
Posted: June 21, 2003 11:11 PM PDT; Last modified: June 22, 2003 1:02 AM PDT
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[n/a] horus8 @ | 22-Jun-03/12:45 AM | Reply
Thank the heavens that you copyrighted this piece Mr. Supreme. Lord knows I was this close to stealing it away and using it to polish my deluxe asswagon.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > horus8 | 22-Jun-03/12:54 AM | Reply
Lmao. Is there something you have against me?
[n/a] Jeremi @ > SupremeDreamer | 1-Jul-03/8:35 PM | Reply
Have you *seen* his asswagon?
[7] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ | 22-Jun-03/9:25 AM | Reply
Well written but lacking emotion. -7-
[n/a] deleted user @ | 18-Aug-03/2:49 PM | Reply
this was a nice hard try but you should fly into your pantry and douse yourself with whatever clings to panties and nighties and is sealed in jars for anniversaries
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > deleted user | 18-Aug-03/3:33 PM | Reply
who are you? and why are you commenting on my old shitty poetry? eh?
[8] Jill Stockinger @ | 1-Jan-21/11:50 AM | Reply
Some lovely lines. A few discordant ones: "His fear holds him dear", "needles poking forth" I'd remove the comma after "his circle of pain and joy".
Also- I think it should be: Humanity's struggle i.e. the struggle of humanity. You capture strong emotion, passion; I see this as describing Jesus Christ or a Christ-like figure. Like the ending a lot.
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