poemranker ::Charlie by INTRANSIT

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Haiku № 27362

Charlie

Member since 2002 · Posted 26 Nov 2002 · 19 comments

Glowing orb with spots Circular motion, it swings Joy in a fishbowl

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mean 5.89 weighted 5.44 rank 2977 views 240 View voting details →

9 votes so far. Yours would make 10.9 votes so far

19 comments

[7] daniella 26-Nov-02/6:24 PM Reply
does he garble at you while you verse? cute
[n/a] INTRANSIT › daniella 26-Nov-02/7:00 PM Reply
Yes, actually he does.
[n/a] poetandknowit 26-Nov-02/6:56 PM Reply
Why is it you keep pulling you poems from the site?
[n/a] INTRANSIT › poetandknowit 26-Nov-02/7:02 PM Reply
Insecurity, mostly. Trying to balance work,poetry and time with my wife is frustrating. I'd rather verse and learn more than anything right now. Would you comment on my haiku, please.
[n/a] poetandknowit › INTRANSIT 26-Nov-02/7:13 PM Reply
Get over it. Cute at best.
[n/a] INTRANSIT › poetandknowit 26-Nov-02/7:18 PM Reply
I will, eventually. Thank you, and you're not a big fan of the haiku are you?
[n/a] poetandknowit › INTRANSIT 26-Nov-02/7:24 PM Reply
Actually, I quite enjoy the haiku if used properly. I think it allows you: 1) to reduce emotion, sometimes difficult emotion, into simple images and 2) create pure imagery. However, folks seem to be tied up on English variations of it and forget the images for say, a comedic purpose. That bothers me. Ypu did not do that here, so don't pull a God's Wife on me.
[n/a] INTRANSIT › poetandknowit 26-Nov-02/7:30 PM Reply
A god's wife? She pulled her stuff around the same time I did. That was wierd. I prefer to stay as close to the proper form and topic as I can. I'm all for anything poignant or humorous though.
[7] <~> 26-Nov-02/7:22 PM Reply
since you have given him a name, i'd like to see anthropomorphism in the poem. i.e., call him 'him,' not it. swing it just a little more, too.
[n/a] poetandknowit › <~> 26-Nov-02/7:28 PM Reply
I thought your were at the barn getting naked with your hippie friends and chanting B.F. Skinner tonight.
[7] <~> › poetandknowit 26-Nov-02/7:29 PM Reply
no. just dinner tonight. i'll save getting naked for when there are at least 20 of us there, thank you very much.
[n/a] poetandknowit › <~> 26-Nov-02/7:36 PM Reply
Was everybody nice to everyone else? No food fights? I must walk the dogs.
[7] <~> › poetandknowit 26-Nov-02/8:03 PM Reply
ben left to go do something manly, i think. so it was just me and nat and the kids and crazy paul. ho hum. that's why i'm home early. oh, and the slammer showed up and had a bite with us too.
[n/a] INTRANSIT › <~> 26-Nov-02/7:33 PM Reply
Well duh. I could've done that considering the title is a proper name. Um, swing what? I'm hung like a stud hamster!
[7] <~> › INTRANSIT 26-Nov-02/8:05 PM Reply
swing the meaning a bit. my favorite haikus have a twist implied within. e.g.--the first 2 lines make me think of a disco ball, but your title isn't duplictous enough to make the last line a relevation. see it?
[n/a] INTRANSIT › <~> 26-Nov-02/8:11 PM Reply
I'll re-post one of my other haikus tomorrow which is better. I just did this 'cause I really love this goldfish my wife bought me weeks ago.
[7] Caducus 27-Nov-02/5:41 AM Reply
Life is a goldfish bowl and we are like Charlie, hope you didnt buy him off a pikey. i always like the way you express max out minimalist.
[9] Tigger8023 27-Nov-02/7:29 PM Reply
Thats cool
[8] Jill Stockinger 1-Jan-21/11:56 AM Reply
Hi, Charlie (the goldfish?)!