Re: ٠صادر فلسطينية أن الاحتلال by Wobble McFly	13-Oct-03/2:05 PM
Somewhat understated, yet I enjoyed the subtext - this bit, "ألكسندر كالوجين، أكد فيدوفين على" is a fairly unusual usage, and I always like that kind of thing. Small nit: "الإسر" should be "سرالإسر"
Re: Not On Your Nelly by Wobble McFly	13-Oct-03/2:02 PM
A nice start to. something.
Re: a comment on Not On Your Nelly by Wobble McFly	13-Oct-03/2:02 PM
I was afraid to ask...
Re: a comment on Daddy's Little Girl by unknown	13-Oct-03/2:00 PM
OMG - good work. I feel like such a dupe.
Re: Why? by MercedezDream	13-Oct-03/6:28 AM
heh - cute. I was just about to give up, cuz the endrhymes are, well - like they are. Then you have this awesome ending; good job.
Re: Billy and the voices by SupremeDreamer	12-Oct-03/7:18 PM
[clap clap clap] "oooo"
Re: Daddy's Little Girl by unknown	12-Oct-03/2:07 PM
Touching - the ending is very sweet and unforced; well done.
Re: the two faces of the bar social. by darby pyn	12-Oct-03/10:08 AM
Awesome easy rhyming kept my attention - right up to naevete', then it kind of breaks. Rethink that ending, if you are so inclined, and you will have something really special, I'm sure of it.
Re: I wish I had a friend by un_oying	12-Oct-03/9:59 AM
Remember, friends don't let friends use the wrong "to/two/too": 3rd stanza, "to" s/b "too". I knew you were dead by S5. Cute; have a 6.
Re: Beautiful Scars by William Delacroix	12-Oct-03/7:44 AM
"The sawed-off between his fesses." is interesting - is the implication he was shot in the chest? Never seen fesses used like that - works for me, though.
Re: XYZ by crwncka1	11-Oct-03/5:47 AM
It has a nice sincere feel to it; works for me. and "wishing into the wind" is nice - but I'm a sucker for alliteration with W's
Re: one by crwncka1	11-Oct-03/5:44 AM
first, change "pedal" to "petal" then delete the second stanza entirely.
Re: Die by Artemis745	11-Oct-03/5:37 AM
... and not a drop to drink. I like it - I would like it more if the word "almost" killed itself. maybe replace it with another modifier. like "gentle", or sumfin.
Re: Silent Tears by Artemis745	11-Oct-03/5:34 AM
I think this would be particularly good as a character outline - I feel a story coming on.
Re: My Angel's Suicide by Artemis745	11-Oct-03/5:32 AM
"In perfect position." Everything about angels is perfection - glad you had that word there. I didn't notice the repetition with "the gun" as I read it, which is cool.
Re: "I know what you need!" by A. Nomaly	11-Oct-03/5:25 AM
no.... no - NOT THE SWANS!
Re: For W. by A. Nomaly	11-Oct-03/5:23 AM
woah.
Re: NUMERO UNO by gorbichoff	11-Oct-03/5:19 AM
"I'm just a cracka flowin', not really knowin'," YOU SHALL HAVE YOUR BIG ONE ZERO!
Re: Magnets & Cross-Eyed Children by Bachus	11-Oct-03/5:18 AM
Puts the physics back in metaphysical - I really like the sounds made by "you will never deserve" ... / "of farulous verve"
Re: sex sex sex! by FreeFormFixation	10-Oct-03/6:01 AM
The only better title I can think of is "beer, beer, beer" (j/k). Another really nice bit of work. Cool format - it suits the piece.