Comments byShuushin, 1081–1100 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

replying on The Bread O' Heaven by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 15 Oct 2003, 3:54 AM
oh, not this old argument again. My seasoned and well learned response has evolved to:

fine.
on salt and celibacy by calliope 14 Oct 2003, 7:43 PM
I'm liking the title, and many of the individual lines. As for the thing-in-itself, I will nod knowingly, and select six from the dropdown menu at right.
on sevenfourteenrobinson by FreeFormFixation 14 Oct 2003, 7:39 PM
"I see dead poems"

what did they whisper, what did they whisper??
on Facing Goodbye by Caducus 14 Oct 2003, 7:37 PM
Quite a nice first stanza there.

Perhaps I'm a bit jaded, but some of the rhymes in the remaining stanza brought me pause.

I'm thinking you could consolidate the second and third to arrive at something that compares with the first.
on Battle of the brains by INTRANSIT 14 Oct 2003, 7:34 PM
it is amazing how many meanings "render" has.

I've seen you do alot with alot, and now - alot with a few. cool.

This should have a few stanza buddies, I think.
on @}:- Everyday I send you a rose by Prince of Void 14 Oct 2003, 7:30 PM
this is about a rose, right?

"droprain" is a cool word. actually there is an interesting slant to the language here (and a few spelling errors).

I'm guessing you could convey the same meaning and emotion in about a sixth the words.
on The spinning infirmary by INTRANSIT 14 Oct 2003, 7:22 PM
awesome title. Toss a questionmark into the text and call it done.

I like.
replying on The spinning infirmary by INTRANSIT 14 Oct 2003, 7:20 PM
no. I'm not.
replying on The spinning infirmary by INTRANSIT 14 Oct 2003, 7:20 PM
(he's lying)
replying on The spinning infirmary by INTRANSIT 14 Oct 2003, 7:20 PM
Yes.
on Love a Duck by fuzzylogicisagimp 14 Oct 2003, 7:19 PM
There's never a videocamera around when needed, is there?

Aflack my ass.
on The Bread O' Heaven by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 14 Oct 2003, 7:09 PM
a prosish (tm) seven, were it an actual sonnet, I would give you and 8.
on Tsunami Love by The_Third_Isis 14 Oct 2003, 7:04 PM
"I spin rinse and tumble deeper into your realm."

nice.

something missing in the last line, I think.
on Turncoat by poetandknowit 14 Oct 2003, 7:01 PM
Such flowing words - though I don't completely understand it.

The touch of rhyme in the middle is used to good effect.
on Birdcalls by poetandknowit 14 Oct 2003, 6:58 PM
Quite lovely.

I will say the first line made me immediately think of langston hughes - just that, and nothing else.

excellent.
replying on государства by Wobble McFly 14 Oct 2003, 6:43 PM
"organizational"
The nuance of ryhme, etc. are lost on me here, but the theme - a declaration of rights, of sorts, has merit.

Admittedly, the cyrilic is interesting.
on sit place by kingit 13 Oct 2003, 5:35 PM
my poor aching [split] brain.

I keep trying
to see
patterns.

ooo - you could d o u b l e s p a c e them too!(seriously).

Maybe with chicken brule, btw.
on thanksgiving by kingit 13 Oct 2003, 5:25 PM
eenteresting...

very eenteresting....
on Dancing on Glass by thepinkbunnyofdoom 13 Oct 2003, 5:11 PM
The ending is fairly awesome.

I don't like that [the droplets] soaked into the floor; either I think of a cement floor in a factory, or via the title, a glass floor.