poemranker ::Dancing on Glass by thepinkbunnyofdoom

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Free verse № 69965

Dancing on Glass

by thepinkbunnyofdoom

Member since 2003 · Posted 13 Oct 2003 · 13 comments

Red droplets soaked into the floor Of a factory swept clean Angry words of a lost tongue Written to be read by a dancer's eyes Circles and more if you can connect the dots Memories hidden in a scarlet hue The best secrets are hidden in plain view

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mean 6.98 weighted 6.98 rank 108 views 622 View voting details →

43 votes so far. Yours would make 44.43 votes so far

13 comments

[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom 13-Oct-03/10:48 AM Reply
Still not back but I had a strong urge to write something to be thought about.
[9] Bachus 13-Oct-03/1:26 PM Reply
Tight.
[9] kingit 13-Oct-03/3:26 PM Reply
scintillating.!
[7] Shuushin 13-Oct-03/5:11 PM Reply
The ending is fairly awesome.

I don't like that [the droplets] soaked into the floor; either I think of a cement floor in a factory, or via the title, a glass floor.
[9] SupremeDreamer 13-Oct-03/5:24 PM Reply
bunny wabbit, ltns. ace poem btw. 9.
[7] richa 14-Oct-03/7:32 AM Reply
some good lines, but the images seem to come out of nowhere, difficult to get a handle on
[7] cuddlytiger17 9-Jan-05/4:41 PM Reply
The images don't seem to be connected very well, but I liked the ending.
[7] horus8 2-Feb-05/6:52 PM Reply
eh...
[6] James Rykelangeli 27-Feb-05/1:19 AM Reply
your imagery is pretty but vague and empty. specify.
excise the banal phraseology: "connect the dots," "secrets... hidden in plain view." overall, though, with potential.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › James Rykelangeli 27-Feb-05/8:02 AM Reply
What can I say to that other than pratice makes perfect.

<3 Jason
[4] zodiac › thepinkbunnyofdoom 27-Feb-05/10:06 PM Reply
If poemranker is anything to go by, it doesn't.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › zodiac 28-Feb-05/8:23 PM Reply
Depends on whom is getting ready, and what they are preparing for.

<3 Jason
[4] Edna Sweetlove 27-Oct-06/4:29 PM Reply
A bit of punctuation would have done no harm. But it's OK I suppose. Noy exactly profound that last line, is it?