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Dancing on Glass (Free verse) by thepinkbunnyofdoom
Red droplets soaked into the floor Of a factory swept clean Angry words of a lost tongue Written to be read by a dancer's eyes Circles and more if you can connect the dots Memories hidden in a scarlet hue The best secrets are hidden in plain view

Up the ladder: Rapid Eye Movement
Down the ladder: Cupid promised me, Nadine

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 513
.. 41
.. 02
.. 41
.. 10
.. 10
.. 30
.. 02
.. 00
.. 01
.. 31

Arithmetic Mean: 7.285714
Weighted score: 7.285676
Overall Rank: 12
Posted: October 13, 2003 10:47 AM PDT; Last modified: October 13, 2003 10:47 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 66.213.67.10 | 13-Oct-03/10:48 AM | Reply
Still not back but I had a strong urge to write something to be thought about.
[9] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 13-Oct-03/1:26 PM | Reply
Tight.
[9] kingit @ 67.69.61.91 | 13-Oct-03/3:26 PM | Reply
scintillating.!
[7] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 13-Oct-03/5:11 PM | Reply
The ending is fairly awesome.

I don't like that [the droplets] soaked into the floor; either I think of a cement floor in a factory, or via the title, a glass floor.
[9] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.175.246 | 13-Oct-03/5:24 PM | Reply
bunny wabbit, ltns. ace poem btw. 9.
[7] richa @ 81.86.74.6 | 14-Oct-03/7:32 AM | Reply
some good lines, but the images seem to come out of nowhere, difficult to get a handle on
[7] cuddlytiger17 @ 209.105.159.192 | 9-Jan-05/4:41 PM | Reply
The images don't seem to be connected very well, but I liked the ending.
[7] horus8 @ 24.130.62.63 | 2-Feb-05/6:52 PM | Reply
eh...
[6] James Rykelangeli @ 169.229.90.109 | 27-Feb-05/1:19 AM | Reply
your imagery is pretty but vague and empty. specify.
excise the banal phraseology: "connect the dots," "secrets... hidden in plain view." overall, though, with potential.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 66.42.231.212 > James Rykelangeli | 27-Feb-05/8:02 AM | Reply
What can I say to that other than pratice makes perfect.

<3 Jason
[4] zodiac @ 212.118.11.12 > thepinkbunnyofdoom | 27-Feb-05/10:06 PM | Reply
If poemranker is anything to go by, it doesn't.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 66.117.237.2 > zodiac | 28-Feb-05/8:23 PM | Reply
Depends on whom is getting ready, and what they are preparing for.

<3 Jason
[4] Edna Sweetlove @ 85.210.250.132 | 27-Oct-06/4:29 PM | Reply
A bit of punctuation would have done no harm. But it's OK I suppose. Noy exactly profound that last line, is it?
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