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Half a dozen (Free verse) by thepinkbunnyofdoom I wrote a love song on every petal
On every one of your pink roses
If you turn them clockwise you will see
Instead you turned against the march of time
Making nonsense outta all my lines
So the meaning is lost, and becomes terrible prose...
Up the ladder:
Chrystal lane swift want's me, bad.
Down the ladder:
Dancing on Glass
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.977778
Posted: January 20, 2005 4:26 PM PST; Last modified: January 20, 2005 5:23 PM PSTWeighted score: 6.9777656 Overall Rank: 112 Comments:
[8]
wilco @ 24.165.207.93
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20-Jan-05/5:30 PM
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Reply
I think it's pretty good, but I'd use out of instead of outta.
She has half a dozen pink roses? What, exactly, does she have one extra of?
One extra? and yes 6 roses, they were dipped in wax, pink my favorite color and ment to be a suprize that ended up in the trash.
<3 Jason
Actually The Male Character does it. Its part of the short coming to livejournal near you soon.
<3 Jason
Do you and CLS show each other your bits over the internet - I suppose it's easier for CLS to do so as they are detachable.
No, but I'm sure if you ask her real nice, she'll tell you to goto hell.
No real movement for me but it does represent what you can do with words.
Yeah, silly little high school poems.
Pretty, I'd agree with changing 'outta' though.
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