poemranker ::Half a dozen by thepinkbunnyofdoom

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Free verse № 118701

Half a dozen

by thepinkbunnyofdoom

Member since 2003 · Posted 20 Jan 2005 · Edited 20 Jan 2005 · 9 comments

I wrote a love song on every petal On every one of your pink roses If you turn them clockwise you will see Instead you turned against the march of time Making nonsense outta all my lines So the meaning is lost, and becomes terrible prose...

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9 comments

[8] wilco 20-Jan-05/5:30 PM Reply
I think it's pretty good, but I'd use out of instead of outta.
[n/a] Goad 24-Jan-05/12:09 PM Reply
She has half a dozen pink roses? What, exactly, does she have one extra of?
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › Goad 26-Jan-05/2:30 PM Reply
One extra? and yes 6 roses, they were dipped in wax, pink my favorite color and ment to be a suprize that ended up in the trash.

<3 Jason
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › thepinkbunnyofdoom 26-Jan-05/5:52 PM Reply
Actually The Male Character does it. Its part of the short coming to livejournal near you soon.

<3 Jason
[1] Stephen Robins 31-Mar-05/3:11 AM Reply
Do you and CLS show each other your bits over the internet - I suppose it's easier for CLS to do so as they are detachable.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › Stephen Robins 31-Mar-05/2:23 PM Reply
No, but I'm sure if you ask her real nice, she'll tell you to goto hell.
[8] Damien 18-Apr-05/3:18 AM Reply
No real movement for me but it does represent what you can do with words.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › Damien 18-Apr-05/9:49 AM Reply
Yeah, silly little high school poems.
[n/a] Ranger 13-Mar-06/3:03 PM Reply
Pretty, I'd agree with changing 'outta' though.