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Dancing on Glass (Free verse) by thepinkbunnyofdoom

Red droplets soaked into the floor Of a factory swept clean Angry words of a lost tongue Written to be read by a dancer's eyes Circles and more if you can connect the dots Memories hidden in a scarlet hue The best secrets are hidden in plain view

James Rykelangeli 27-Feb-05/1:19 AM
your imagery is pretty but vague and empty. specify.
excise the banal phraseology: "connect the dots," "secrets... hidden in plain view." overall, though, with potential.




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