Replying to a comment on:

Dancing on Glass (Free verse) by thepinkbunnyofdoom

Red droplets soaked into the floor Of a factory swept clean Angry words of a lost tongue Written to be read by a dancer's eyes Circles and more if you can connect the dots Memories hidden in a scarlet hue The best secrets are hidden in plain view

James Rykelangeli 27-Feb-05/1:19 AM
your imagery is pretty but vague and empty. specify.
excise the banal phraseology: "connect the dots," "secrets... hidden in plain view." overall, though, with potential.

Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2020 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001