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Birdcalls (Free verse) by poetandknowit
I want to speak of rivers I regret not knowing. Because it is October again and the hazy morning chill gathers light from my last youthful days, when I awoke from a hunter's sleep, shotgun aimed stiff against a vacant sky, wishing my father had remembered coffee some miles back and hours ago, when I still believed in magic bird calls and conjured V-lines, when a pocketknife belonged against the left hip for luck and a fallen leaf, shaded deep red, meant more than a dollar bill. And I recall my daughter now, hair laced with hay strands from an earlier wagon ride, searching an endless pumpkin field for a faultless face, her grace balancing an oversized coat, as she patiently inspected each round shape. And the horse meadow outside Platte City, thick with hog flies, where I wanted to spend my life with you before learning to kiss, before the mysteries of moving water stilled at winter's pass and the days became cold. And maybe a drink would slow things, but I keep thinking of you and of all those rivers, but mostly of you.

Up the ladder: a dream
Down the ladder: Written while Kayaking

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.142857
Weighted score: 5.576303
Overall Rank: 2400
Posted: October 13, 2003 10:19 PM PDT; Last modified: October 13, 2003 10:19 PM PDT
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god'swife

Comments:
[10] god'swife @ 67.73.29.151 | 14-Oct-03/10:03 AM | Reply
One of my favorites. I especially love the way the images seem to come and go, they sort of crumble away, one after the other, and all you leave me with is that ultimate thought. The one we always come back to, the one we cannot shake. Lovely, truly.
[8] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 14-Oct-03/11:28 AM | Reply
Mue
[9] Caducus @ 195.92.168.167 | 14-Oct-03/3:26 PM | Reply
Loved the way you wrapped up S1 with the last 4 lines, speaks volumes about family values, appreciation of nature over social disdain.

Just one of those poems i want to read as i get something from it.

The last one of your poems was partly responsible for my poem 'Brighton Beach' i would appreciate your views on it good or bad.....Please.
[9] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 14-Oct-03/6:58 PM | Reply
Quite lovely.

I will say the first line made me immediately think of langston hughes - just that, and nothing else.

excellent.
[8] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 16-Mar-06/8:25 AM | Reply
Fantastic opener, the first stanza was favoured over the second (nice as it was, it lacked the nostalgic edge that stanza 1 had). 'Gathers light from my last youthful days'...beautiful...one of those (many) things that makes me want to get out of the city again.
Anyway, you may or may not read this; either way I'll post my apologies for various stupid rants in the past - they served no purpose other than to fuel my conviction that I was the greatest poet on Earth and above criticism. So there it is; I think you're a very good writer and shall read through your list of poems as I should have done already.
Peace?
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