Comments byShuushin, 1061–1080 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

replying on Drug Addict by SupremeDreamer 20 Oct 2003, 2:28 PM
Brilliant!!

My mother started using it, and now her age spots have completely faded away!
replying on Drug Addict by SupremeDreamer 20 Oct 2003, 1:19 PM
what has become of post 11538?
on Drug Addict by SupremeDreamer 20 Oct 2003, 1:10 PM
"rotting time"
"hollow stone"
"eternal view"
"insomniatic dreams"

I could do with one less "warm" in the last stanza.
on what i thought i was thinking by FreeFormFixation 20 Oct 2003, 12:52 PM
a flash of inspiration.
on Decay by INTRANSIT 20 Oct 2003, 12:39 PM
Very sexual; made me think of a chastity belt.

and with an excellent cadence.
on Devour by leviathan 19 Oct 2003, 5:37 PM
very sad. lots of sadness. sad sad sad poem.

I've written them, you've written them...

what else ya got?
I am, then, honored to be in the company of royalty. You'll forgive me, though, if I don't read it again - the first was already a waste of my time.
who is James - who are you, and why do I have to read about either of you??

"bequeeth" is "ea", but I think you meant "beseech", unless you were saying it as he might, presumably as wrongly as you? No idea.

to eath his own.
on broken by GekoHawaii 19 Oct 2003, 7:18 AM
okay, I was tolerating the expression because the meter is perfect up to stanza three.

I think, too, btw that you've just barely straddled the comfortable side of unforced rhyme - so, not bad in that regard.
replying on September 11, 2001: That Day by blues361 18 Oct 2003, 4:45 PM
MAN, you totally crack me up. (seriously and without any malice or sarcasm)
on Sonnet or Limerick? by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 18 Oct 2003, 9:10 AM
SEE now that's a SONNET!

I knew you could do it.
on two tunnels blip out by skaskowski 16 Oct 2003, 7:27 PM
I'll grant that it's probably clever - though it may sound more so than is so; I do, however, appreciate the unusual form.

The other two: sapphires; this - more muddy. I will admit, it can be fun to play in the mud.
on Tabula Rasa by skaskowski 16 Oct 2003, 7:24 PM
Writ with a confident, skilled hand that pulls words as concepts onto stacks with a geometric efficiency.

Once again, I have to work to understand what shape this equation takes - but I want to.
on paper fragments by skaskowski 16 Oct 2003, 7:18 PM
This is quite nice; flowing, roaming within an easy pattern.

Having said that, I'm gonna haveta read it a few more times to figure out what the hell it's about - but, you know what? - I look forward to it.
replying on Blue Collar Beat by Big Daddy 16 Oct 2003, 5:38 PM
And I thought you were a stunningly good judge of character - maybe we were both right.

(besides, I was trying to be polite - dick. Don't say anything to big daddy - he scares me)
on Blue Collar Beat by Big Daddy 16 Oct 2003, 2:20 PM
fairly engaging.

and in interesting format.
on The first Poeme by Everyone by Everyone 16 Oct 2003, 2:15 PM
squishy
on Nudesflash by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 15 Oct 2003, 6:19 PM
Funny as hell; very clever!

my favorite: "*Nude thirds of all nudely-weds cannot afford to buy a nude home, a nude
survey reveals. “We’re thinking of emigrating to Nudefoundland,” say Mr
amd Mrs John Nude."

(it's still nude a God Damned sonnet...)
on Kites, Gunpowder, and a Chair by Geschäftsreise 15 Oct 2003, 11:42 AM
most excerrent.
on For M. B. by Tits 15 Oct 2003, 11:27 AM
I would like to tell you how impressed I am at this poem.