on In black and white by INTRANSIT
29 Oct 2003, 6:08 AM
I second the honorable mr. mage's proposal - lets storm the castle!!
on IM THE MASTER OF PARODY by Y2kSlamPoet
29 Oct 2003, 6:03 AM
thanks for livening up the place.
I think it could be something, but it needs a hook, my friend - needs a hook.
and that first line in the bridge - maybe a missing word in there; give it a read.
lastly - the bridge was a bit soon for me. Maybe develop the hookline in that second bit and move the bridge down - just as a suggestion.
and that first line in the bridge - maybe a missing word in there; give it a read.
lastly - the bridge was a bit soon for me. Maybe develop the hookline in that second bit and move the bridge down - just as a suggestion.
replying on The Gone-Too-Far Kitchen by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
28 Oct 2003, 5:11 PM
I thought it was a sonnet.
I like the drowned better - but like I said, might just be me.
I like the drowned better - but like I said, might just be me.
on Experimental Robot Questionaire by horus8
27 Oct 2003, 7:12 PM
Reminds me of the turing test (which is very topical)
Have you poked around at the transcripts from the turing tests?
Fun - they come so close, then this happens:
bot: "I like to chat with my friends, what do you like to do?"
me: "martial arts"
bot: "ouch, that hurts, don't press the keys so hard!"
me: "cute - thats actually a clever response"
bot: "Now the real truth comes out. Go on"
[splat]
Thats an actual transcript.
http://www.surrey.ac.uk/dwrc/loebner/
Have you poked around at the transcripts from the turing tests?
Fun - they come so close, then this happens:
bot: "I like to chat with my friends, what do you like to do?"
me: "martial arts"
bot: "ouch, that hurts, don't press the keys so hard!"
me: "cute - thats actually a clever response"
bot: "Now the real truth comes out. Go on"
[splat]
Thats an actual transcript.
http://www.surrey.ac.uk/dwrc/loebner/
on comment-ary by nentwined
27 Oct 2003, 6:58 PM
I like your haiku/senryu, you do a very nice job of conveying a single, not necessarily simple, thought in them.
People think that's easy. Spewing the first thing that comes into your head and bleeding bile and blood all over a page - THATS easy.
Sorry, I was spewing. Done now.
People think that's easy. Spewing the first thing that comes into your head and bleeding bile and blood all over a page - THATS easy.
Sorry, I was spewing. Done now.
replying on I have no problem with short people of color or religion by horus8
27 Oct 2003, 6:20 PM
No. Nothing seems to help, really.
I liked the read, btw - not sure if that came through (rushing a bit playing catch-up, sorry). Made me want to know who inspired it (not that I'm asking, that was just the effect).
I liked the read, btw - not sure if that came through (rushing a bit playing catch-up, sorry). Made me want to know who inspired it (not that I'm asking, that was just the effect).
on The Gone-Too-Far Kitchen by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
27 Oct 2003, 6:17 PM
Pretty excellently done. Wonderful language use and the thing is polished up quite nicely.
the use of "sanguine" gives me a little pause though - I can appreciate the aliteration it gives, and I see you've tied it in with the last stanza - but I just can't roll over it. Prolly just me. Maybe it's *because* of the alliteration with "submerged"? Maybe swap out submerged instead?
the use of "sanguine" gives me a little pause though - I can appreciate the aliteration it gives, and I see you've tied it in with the last stanza - but I just can't roll over it. Prolly just me. Maybe it's *because* of the alliteration with "submerged"? Maybe swap out submerged instead?
on turn the cameras off by crin
27 Oct 2003, 6:10 PM
kindof a lyrical quality.
Not crazy about the lowercase "i"s, and maybe a tad too many cliches/term dropping - but workable methinks.
Not crazy about the lowercase "i"s, and maybe a tad too many cliches/term dropping - but workable methinks.
on What The Hell?! Oh, It's You... by Yatasuma
27 Oct 2003, 6:08 PM
a well conveyed [senryu]; a simple sentiment.
gave me a smile.
gave me a smile.
on Waiting On A Friend by Yatasuma
27 Oct 2003, 6:07 PM
I totally get it, but it took me a few (cuz I'm medicated).
I love cable. You should get cable (or DSL) or a modem that works.
I love cable. You should get cable (or DSL) or a modem that works.
on I have no problem with short people of color or religion by horus8
27 Oct 2003, 6:03 PM
holy shit thats alot of words - actually, its only 680 - but it felt like more. I read them all.
Quite a cathartic rant - feel better??
Quite a cathartic rant - feel better??
replying on My Chocolate F-9 by abecedarian
22 Oct 2003, 7:58 PM
That's an amazing bargain - is like a kit? Horrey cow (a good deal built would be two and a half grand, no?).
on My Chocolate F-9 by abecedarian
22 Oct 2003, 6:35 AM
A Gibson mandolin, I believe. And an expensive one.
This expresses that desire to rush but the fear of breaking very well - and that has larger implications.
liked it!
This expresses that desire to rush but the fear of breaking very well - and that has larger implications.
liked it!
That second stanza in particular describes an old scene in a very fresh way; well done!
This use of the parenthetical gives it an interesting flavor - like building a language - or a mythology. I think it can easily be overdone though - you've kept on the inside of that.
bird leaves as she cools, the parallel with the decomposing city - nice.
This use of the parenthetical gives it an interesting flavor - like building a language - or a mythology. I think it can easily be overdone though - you've kept on the inside of that.
bird leaves as she cools, the parallel with the decomposing city - nice.
on Evel Knievel's last bananna split by horus8
22 Oct 2003, 6:18 AM
Awesome title - now I have to read it; please hold...
Hey that rocks. It's a sad and pitiful rocking, but with an air of challenges overcome.
Hey that rocks. It's a sad and pitiful rocking, but with an air of challenges overcome.
on Toku by Bill Z Bub
21 Oct 2003, 7:32 PM
Nutty and impressive (in the way that it leaves an impression).
I like the unusual formatting.
On the downside, I feel like there is an oversimplification, or a misunderstanding someplace; just a feeling.
I like the unusual formatting.
On the downside, I feel like there is an oversimplification, or a misunderstanding someplace; just a feeling.
on Lake Arrowhead by abecedarian
20 Oct 2003, 9:24 PM
I'm going to save a limb from an electronic tree and just agree with hatters hare completely.
There is some wonderful language in this, particularly in the "Unfortunately..." stanza.
There is some wonderful language in this, particularly in the "Unfortunately..." stanza.
Intesting language - yess..... interesting....