Re: The Box by EouSou	29-Oct-03/6:09 AM
There is a new slant here that I find refreshing somehow - but I feel like there should be something more. Intesting language - yess..... interesting....
Re: In black and white by INTRANSIT	29-Oct-03/6:08 AM
I second the honorable mr. mage's proposal - lets storm the castle!!
Re: IM THE MASTER OF PARODY by Y2kSlamPoet	29-Oct-03/6:03 AM
thanks for livening up the place.
Re: As It Is by Miggy	29-Oct-03/6:02 AM
I think it could be something, but it needs a hook, my friend - needs a hook. and that first line in the bridge - maybe a missing word in there; give it a read. lastly - the bridge was a bit soon for me. Maybe develop the hookline in that second bit and move the bridge down - just as a suggestion.
Re: a comment on The Gone-Too-Far Kitchen by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	28-Oct-03/5:11 PM
I thought it was a sonnet. I like the drowned better - but like I said, might just be me.
Re: Experimental Robot Questionaire by horus8	27-Oct-03/7:12 PM
Reminds me of the turing test (which is very topical) Have you poked around at the transcripts from the turing tests? Fun - they come so close, then this happens: bot: "I like to chat with my friends, what do you like to do?" me: "martial arts" bot: "ouch, that hurts, don't press the keys so hard!" me: "cute - thats actually a clever response" bot: "Now the real truth comes out. Go on" [splat] Thats an actual transcript. http://www.surrey.ac.uk/dwrc/loebner/
Re: comment-ary by nentwined	27-Oct-03/6:58 PM
I like your haiku/senryu, you do a very nice job of conveying a single, not necessarily simple, thought in them. People think that's easy. Spewing the first thing that comes into your head and bleeding bile and blood all over a page - THATS easy. Sorry, I was spewing. Done now.
Re: a comment on I have no problem with short people of color or religion by horus8	27-Oct-03/6:20 PM
No. Nothing seems to help, really. I liked the read, btw - not sure if that came through (rushing a bit playing catch-up, sorry). Made me want to know who inspired it (not that I'm asking, that was just the effect).
Re: The Gone-Too-Far Kitchen by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	27-Oct-03/6:17 PM
Pretty excellently done. Wonderful language use and the thing is polished up quite nicely. the use of "sanguine" gives me a little pause though - I can appreciate the aliteration it gives, and I see you've tied it in with the last stanza - but I just can't roll over it. Prolly just me. Maybe it's *because* of the alliteration with "submerged"? Maybe swap out submerged instead?
Re: turn the cameras off by crin	27-Oct-03/6:10 PM
kindof a lyrical quality. Not crazy about the lowercase "i"s, and maybe a tad too many cliches/term dropping - but workable methinks.
Re: What The Hell?! Oh, It's You... by Yatasuma	27-Oct-03/6:08 PM
a well conveyed [senryu]; a simple sentiment. gave me a smile.
Re: Waiting On A Friend by Yatasuma	27-Oct-03/6:07 PM
I totally get it, but it took me a few (cuz I'm medicated). I love cable. You should get cable (or DSL) or a modem that works.
Re: I have no problem with short people of color or religion by horus8	27-Oct-03/6:03 PM
holy shit thats alot of words - actually, its only 680 - but it felt like more. I read them all. Quite a cathartic rant - feel better??
Re: a comment on My Chocolate F-9 by abecedarian	22-Oct-03/7:58 PM
That's an amazing bargain - is like a kit? Horrey cow (a good deal built would be two and a half grand, no?).
Re: My Chocolate F-9 by abecedarian	22-Oct-03/6:35 AM
A Gibson mandolin, I believe. And an expensive one. This expresses that desire to rush but the fear of breaking very well - and that has larger implications. liked it!
Re: glimpses by nentwined	22-Oct-03/6:30 AM
That second stanza in particular describes an old scene in a very fresh way; well done! This use of the parenthetical gives it an interesting flavor - like building a language - or a mythology. I think it can easily be overdone though - you've kept on the inside of that. bird leaves as she cools, the parallel with the decomposing city - nice.
Re: Evel Knievel's last bananna split    by horus8	22-Oct-03/6:18 AM
Awesome title - now I have to read it; please hold... Hey that rocks. It's a sad and pitiful rocking, but with an air of challenges overcome.
Re: Toku by Bill Z Bub	21-Oct-03/7:32 PM
Nutty and impressive (in the way that it leaves an impression). I like the unusual formatting. On the downside, I feel like there is an oversimplification, or a misunderstanding someplace; just a feeling.
Re: Lake Arrowhead by abecedarian	20-Oct-03/9:24 PM
I'm going to save a limb from an electronic tree and just agree with hatters hare completely. There is some wonderful language in this, particularly in the "Unfortunately..." stanza.
Re: glimpse by nentwined	20-Oct-03/9:13 PM
this leaves an impression that is belies its size. does the door lock so people like this can't get in? (so believes the common man)