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broken (Other) by GekoHawaii
Stranded in destructions wake I cower in my own mistakes As support structures start to shake With depression's strengthened quakes I try to withstand this cruel force As lies fuel now a new remorse For trusting those who are the source Or this depression's blade so coarse I feel I'm outside this harsh game As others motives still do maim And I am searching for a name With still no foeman to proclaim Yet all this while the one I trust Has chosen me aside to thrust With their own pain a strengthened gust That tears at me with cause unjust And so I wait now growing weak As futures light becomes so bleak And answers still I long to seek Yet all I find are thoughts oblique

Up the ladder: Chemistry
Down the ladder: A "sirius"makeover

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.6666665
Weighted score: 5.179294
Overall Rank: 4773
Posted: October 19, 2003 6:22 AM PDT; Last modified: October 19, 2003 6:22 AM PDT
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Comments:
[8] leonxic @ 80.205.204.246 | 19-Oct-03/6:25 AM | Reply
I don't like many poems on this site. This one's not bad.8
[7] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 19-Oct-03/7:18 AM | Reply
okay, I was tolerating the expression because the meter is perfect up to stanza three.

I think, too, btw that you've just barely straddled the comfortable side of unforced rhyme - so, not bad in that regard.
[1] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 | 19-Oct-03/2:00 PM | Reply
9054F003

Truly shit.
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