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Decay (Free verse) by INTRANSIT
Castle gate rusts as it guards the womb. Rusty Hull-ed ship carries disease Rusty shopping cart beggar on his knees Rusting old car road trippin' road trippin' Rusty old car clutch is a slippin' Rust Rust Rust Quiet rust The dollar bill chatters in god we trust The steeple of the church drips its' rusting chips The rusty Iron gate Guards the entrance to the tomb.

Down the ladder: Good Riddance

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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10  .. 100
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0555553
Weighted score: 6.958069
Overall Rank: 146
Posted: October 20, 2003 6:25 AM PDT; Last modified: October 20, 2003 6:25 AM PDT
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Comments:
[6] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.8.97 | 20-Oct-03/7:06 AM | Reply
"Rusty Hull-ed ship
carries disease

Rusty shopping cart
beggar on his knees"

You may omit the rest.
[n/a] INTRANSIT @ 64.12.96.139 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 20-Oct-03/8:39 AM | Reply
too simplistic an idea, huh?
[8] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.51 | 20-Oct-03/12:39 PM | Reply
Very sexual; made me think of a chastity belt.

and with an excellent cadence.
[9] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 | 20-Oct-03/2:24 PM | Reply
Might I suggest a collapsing parking structure and a legless prostitute in a rusting radio flyer?
[4] poetandknowit @ 65.100.176.64 | 20-Oct-03/9:50 PM | Reply
Beat us over the head. Go ahead. Beat us.
[n/a] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.252.198 > poetandknowit | 21-Oct-03/11:37 AM | Reply
I know I'm a bane in the neck. Once I have "tooled up" a little better and gotten through some personal stuff, I will write better poetry. I assure you that hanging around the fives, while a great group as it is, is not my goal. I'm still learning patience. I ask nothing else from you.
[10] dancin_n_da_moonlite @ 205.188.116.135 | 5-Mar-05/11:27 AM | Reply
i absolutely love this! i honestly have no idea why but i sense a brilliance in it! - 10 -
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